Redemption
by tannertheklutz
Summary: In 1942, Soldier Jasper Whitlock was forced to join the army, leaving behind his beautiful wife Alice. He promised he would come back for her, but fate had other plans in mind. A/J AU
1. 1941

**Redemption**

**Summary: In 1939, World War 2 began. In 1942, Soldier Jasper Whitlock was forced to join, leaving behind his beautiful wife Alice. He promised he would come back for her, but fate had other plans in mind. **

…

"Jasper?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been in love before?"

"Yes."

"What happened to her?"

"World war 2."

…

"Alice?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been in love before?"

"Yes."

"What happened to him?"

"World War 2."

…

_**1942**_

Sitting at my vanity, I ran a brush through my long locks as I awaited our guests. Tonight my parents Catherine and Viktor were holding my engagement party. My engagement to Jasper Whitlock, my true love.

All day I have been giddy and excited to see him. He'd been spending the last week in the country with his grandparents. I miss him dearly and I can't wait till I see him tonight.

The doorbell rang and I sprang from my seat. I checked myself in the mirror and I smiled to myself. I was wearing a spaghetti strap emerald green silk camisole dress that showed most of my back, my long dark hair pined away from my eyes and fell in ringlets, I had my gold heart necklace on that my parents gave me but the most thing that stood out was my beautiful engagement diamond that nestled on my left ring finger. Jasper gave me this ring and he has exquisite taste. I lifted my dress a little so I could walk, which showed my black pumps and I turned to my door.

My breath caught as I saw who was leaning against my doorframe.

Jasper.

I smiled as he came closer to me. He picked up both my hands and pressed his lips to my knuckles before wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You look stunning, darling. Absolutely beautiful." He told me before pressing his lips to mine.

"Thankyou, you're not to bad yourself either." I said and he chuckled.

"Come on, let's go done stairs and greet everyone." He tugged on my hands and I followed close behind him.

We walked down the long flight of stairs and came into the living room. Jasper's mother, Beth, immediately greeted me.

"Mary Alice, darling. It's so good to see you looking well." She gushed and pulled me away from Jasper. He gave me his dazzling smile as his mother took me away and over to all the other women.

Jasper went to join his father and the other men for some scotch.

"So Mary Alice, when's the big day?" Betty Clifton, a socialite in her 50's asked me. Using my full name, made me cringe. I hated when people call me by my full name. I liked Alice, just Alice. Jasper, fortunately, is the only one who knows my distaste of it. Therefore, calling me Alice.

I sipped my wine before answering. "Next month. Saturday the 8th of April."

"Oh what a beautiful wedding it will be…"

The night dragged on. I greeted over 100 guests. I talked, I mingled, I drank wine, maybe a little too much but I was still okay to walk. I tried to dodge all of my mother's noisy gossip mongrel friends most of the night.

Some time between discussing my love life and babies, I escaped out the back to my mother's gazebo surrounded by her garden. The moon shone brightly and the crickets chirped away almost like a tune.

My gaze went back to the house. It was big and eloquent anything less and my mother would disapprove of. I grew up like a princess some would say. But my life was hardly that. My parents were always away or always controlling my life and how to do it. If it weren't for having Jasper in my life since day one, I don't know how I would have survived.

Jasper. I love him more than life. And he feels the same towards me. I remember the first time I laid eyes on him. We were 9 years old and his parents had just moved to Georgetown from Texas. My parents were hosting a party and I was in the sitting room completely bored. He just walked over, introduced himself and for the rest of the night we spent it together. It was special and amazing. He made me feel like an actual princess.

I lit a cigarette and took a drag when I heard footsteps. My eyes searched the darkness and I smiled brightly at whom I saw in the darkness.

"Hey," I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, darling." He sat down next to me. He had a cigarette in his left hand and his scotch in the other.

"So you escaped." He chuckled.

"Yeah. How'd you escape Betty Clifton and the gossip bunch? Been violated yet?" I teased him. He grimaced and I laughed.

"I must truly say how scared I feel around her. I've lost count at how many time's that women has touched my backside." He said with a look of shock.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." I cooed as I drew closer to him. The intoxication of his delicious scent and the alcohol I consumed left me quiet lightheaded. I toppled on top of him and gave him a sloppy kiss.

We laughed, talked and played around under the gazebo.

I stole his scotch and took a sip, the liquor burning my throat. "Okay, so I say instead of a big fancy wedding let's just elope!" I yelled the last word.

He laughed and placed a finger to my lips. "Shh."

I kissed his finger and ran my hand through his hair. Our lips crashed together and moved in sync with one another. The kiss grew heated and passionate. Jasper grabbed me by my arse and lifted me to straddle his hips on the stone chair. His left hand bunched up my dress while his other tangled itself in my hair, pulling me closer.

My arms instantly locked behind his neck, my fingers playing with his blonde curls. Clothes her being tugged and almost ripped, hair was messed up, lips swollen and body's moulded together.

"Jasper," I moaned. His grip on my high tightened. More moans and groans followed.

Jasper sighed with a kiss on my lips and leaned back slightly. "God you're beautiful."

I smiled contently down at him and breathed in his scent. "Do you love me Jasper?"

His eyes bore into mine, his hand caressing my cheek. "Yes."

"Would you die for me?"

"Yes."

"What would you do if I died?"

"I'd die too."

I smiled down at him then gave him a soft kiss.

"I'm going to love you till the day I die. Forever."

"Forever." He declared passionately and he turned us slightly resuming our actions before, my laughter filling the night air.

* * *

"I can't believe it's finally happened! We're finally married!" I giggled as Jasper carried us as man and wife to our new bed in our new house.

"I know, god if I had known you were going to be dressed like that I would have married you a long time ago." He said as he dropped me on the bed. I laughed as he jumped next to me, kissing my lips eagerly.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs Jasper Whitlock?" He asked, trailing kisses down my neck.

"Mmm…so good," I whispered. His touch was getting too much for me. I need him badly. "God, I love you."

"I love you too, my love."

"Make love to me Jasper, please."

He leaned back a bit on his elbow. He caressed my cheek softly, staring into my green eyes. His ice blue eyes burned into mine. He leaned in slowly, agonizingly slow. But when his lips rested upon mine, it was sweet and innocent.

No more words were need that night. Just our love radiating off each other all night as we made love.

* * *

It was Sunday morning and I was in the kitchen making breakfast, while Jasper still slept. We have been married 2 long, wonderful months. My mother said I still had a certain glow on my face and I highly agree. Jasper made me the happiest woman on earth and it will never change.

I was lost in my bliss that I hadn't notice my husband walk into the kitchen. His strong arms wrapped around my tiny waist, making me jump in surprise.

"Oh gosh, Jasper you scarred me." I panted, recovering from the shock.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry, darling but your too tempting." He nibbled my ear softly before kissing it tenderly. I smiled at his playful banter.

Eventually, I swatted him away with the spatula I was using to make the pancakes.

A few hours later, we were sitting in the living room listening to music on the radio when a broad announcement took over the music. An announcement that will change our lives forever.

Later that night, when the shock finally sunk in I cried. I cried deathly tears while in the arms of Jasper. Because in a short 2 days, he would be gone with an unknown chance that I may or may not see him.

* * *

Jasper packed his last article of clothing in his duffle bag, as I sat on the bed and watched him.

In only a few short minutes he would be gone and what would to do then. I pulled the bed sheet tighter around my naked form as I sat up a little in the bed.

My eyes were puff and tear steaks lined with black marked my face. I hated watching him pack; I hated this country for taking away my husband and sending him to war. It's not fair.

"It's not fair," I whimpered as I felt the tears again. I felt Jasper drop his things and then cradle me in his arms.

"I know darling, I hate this too. But there's nothing we can do." He said. He patted down my tangled hair and kissed my hair. With his free hand he pulled away and lifted my chin so I faced him. He gently brushed away my tears and smiled sadly.

"I love you, Alice. No matter what happens, I will come back I promise you. Nothing can keep us apart." I nodded my head but the tears still fell. He gave me a soft kiss and squeezed my hand before getting up and continued packing his things.

Not long after, I was dressed in nothing but my silk camisole kissing Jasper goodbye at the front door.

Tears leaked from my eyes as he held me close. "Be happy Alice, please. Don't cry okay. Don't cry. I love you so much."

"Jasper!" I cried once more as I clung more to him. "I love you," I whispered in his ear. "Come back to me."

He pulled back and pecked my forehead before grabbing his duffel bag and headed out the door.

I stayed by the open wide window as I watched him walk down the long dirt road. The last I saw of him was when he turned his head slightly to the house with me by the window before his figure disappeared past the trees.

* * *

The next few weeks were hell for me. I couldn't eat or sleep. I cried most of time and barely got out of bed. My heart broke in two, as I feared the most.

Jasper has been gone for almost 5 months. I got a few letters from him, telling me he loved me and he would see me soon. And every time I heard a noise outside I would run t the front door, only to be disappointed when seeing as my parents or the postman.

But as time went on, everything became harder. Especially the day I got that letter.

The only words I read that killed me:

…Died in action…

* * *

Well, what do you think? Read and Review-Please

xoxoTTK


	2. 67 years later

**Chapter 2. 67 years later…**

"Nurse Brandon, I need you to check on my patient in room 215, Mrs Bronx." Doctor James Billson asked me.

"Sure Dr. Billson." I put down my clipboard and grabbed the one Dr. Billson held out for me with a smile.

I turned and walked down the hall. A lot has happened in the last 67 years. I was once happy and married. Then my husband got drafted to war in World War 2. I lost him, and everyday the pain gets worse and worse. Not only did I lose him, but also I was turned into…a vampire. Sometimes that word still is hard to believe but there is nothing I can do about in now.

Now, 67 years later, I'm a nurse working at a hospital in Connecticut. It was hard at first but my visions are what kept me from making a mistake. Now I see that it was a good choice for me. Being able to save lives with my ability. This hospital is all that I have, including that last 7, I've been at. It's all I have now well except for one thing…

Not only was I a vampire, but also a mum. Yeah, that's right a mum. When I was only a few months in, I lost Jasper. I never even got to tell him. Now our 19-year-old daughter and vampire, Lily-May was also a nurse here at the hospital. Well, a struggling nurse.

After she was born, I was turned. But I refused to feed off of her or a human. I could never forgive myself if I did. So I feed on animals.

But Lily's life is another story. I knew the minute I saw her I would never change her. I would leave her human and have a normal life. But the tables turned when she was…well 20. She was sick and at the hospital. That night I was working late at night when they said her vitals were low and there was only a matter of minutes left. They couldn't save her, so I did the only thing that stopped me from losing my daughter. I changed her myself.

We can both control our blood lust and only feed on animals. But Lily-May has trouble sometimes. So far she's being doing good because this is her fist time at a hospital. But she's getting there.

I made my way to room 215where I found Mrs Bronx sitting up watching a soap opera.

"Good morning Mrs Bronx. How are you doing this morning?" I smiled kindly as I checked her clipboard at the end of her bed.

"Good morning Alice, I'm good. A littler bored but I am good." She answered sweetly.

Mrs Bronx was an 80-year-old grandmother who had a heart attack not long ago. Her family came in everyday. They include, 5 children, all married with children. So there were about 13 grandchildren. She was lucky they all came in to see her; she was lucky to have so many people who care about her.

"Well your vitals look good. No pain or aching bones?" I asked, my eyes scanning the clipboard.

She shook her heard slowly. "No dear."

"That's good. Now I'll leave you to rest and I'll be back to check on you later."

"Okay, dear."

I quietly closed her door and left. I checked a few more patients before heading down to the front desk. Marge, our receptionist, has been at this hospital for many years. She was short and pudgy with short brown curly hair and wore that 'mess-with-me-and-I'll-cut-your-head-off' look. But she was still very kind and respectful.

"Hey Marge-" I didn't get to finish as the wide emergency doors were swung open and the paramedics brought in a stretcher with a little boy on it.

"Oh my god!" I gasped as I dropped my clipboards and ran over. "What do we have?"

"Lucas Hayes, 3 years old. Ran onto the high way chasing after a ball. He was hit, at full speed sending him flying at 200ft. He has a collapsed lung, internal bleeding on his whole right side, a broken leg, a broken arm in three places and a head fracture." One paramedic said.

I felt like crying over this little boy, he didn't deserve this, hell he was still in diapers. HE was just a baby. It broke my heart. But what shocked me more was the boy's appearance. He had blonde wavy hair, slightly pale skin and an angelic face. He reminded me of Jasper-it killed me even more.

The heart monitor started to drop. "Get him into ICU now!" I shouted.

About 5 hours later, I came out of the ICU. Lucas was very strong; he survived miraculously. He was now stable but still had a long way to go.

"Where is my son?!" A voice shouted from the front desk. I heard it from all the way up the hall.

"Ma'am, you need to calm down. The doctor is not out of surgery yet; you'll have to wait." Marge explained.

As I got closer I saw she was talking to a young, a very young woman-she couldn't be more than 24-who was dressed in a black suit jacket and pencil skirt with a white blouse and red heels. Her long blonde hair was in disarray and her mascara ran down her puffy cheeks from crying.

"Can I help you?" I asked her. I presumed she was Lucas' mother.

"Alice, this is Kate Hayes. Lucas' mother." Marge told as she answered the ringing phone.

"Please, is my son okay?" Kate sobbed.

"Yes. I just came out of surgery with him. Now listen, Lucas is stable but his condition is very critical over the next 24 hours. He has a breathing tube down his throat in order to pump oxygen into his lungs."

A loud, bone-chilling gasp escaped her lips. "I can't believe this. I ask Jessica to mind him for two hours while I sign some papers-"

"The babysitter?" I asked.

She nodded. "When I get my hands on that girl…" she didn't finish her sentence, she broke down crying.

She was just a young mother on the verge of a melt down. The worry, the tears and the pain I felt off of her was intensifying. I know what it feels like and this woman was the same. The one most important thing in our lives and her son was the world to her like Lily-May was to me.

"Ms Hayes. Please calm down there is more you need to know." I tried to calm her as I lead her to the plastic blue chairs in the waiting room.

Her body shook but she didn't say anything.

"Lucas has a collapsed lung, internal bleeding on his whole right side, a broken leg, and a broken arm in three places and a head fracture. We managed to stop the bleeding and repair the damage to his skull. For now we have to wait for the swelling to go down in his leg and arm to determine the next step. But so far he had made a good recovery." My voice was thick with emotion as I told her but I managed to keep it together.

She nodded, as she understood me. "Can I see him?"

"Sure."

I lead her to Lucas' room and let her sit on a chair by his bedside.

"The doctor should be in soon to explain more." I said as I left the room to give her privacy.

I went to the front desk and found two policemen standing next to Marge.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" I asked kindly, giving them my undeniable smile.

They both turned but Marge answered before them. "Nurse Whitlock these men are Constable Procter and Constable Marc. Gentlemen this is our head nurse and supervisor Alice Whitlock. Alice, these men are here about Lucas Hayes."

"Oh, thank you Marge. What can I do for you gentlemen?"

Constable Procter spoke. "We have spoken with the mother who was at work when the incident occurred. It turns out the mother left her son in the care of the babysitter who in fact was passed out from a large amount of alcohol when the car hit the young boy. When the time is right we would like to ask Lucas Hayes some questions. Is that possible?"

I looked at him pensively. "With the mother's permission, yes of course."

"Okay. Do you mind showing us where she is?" Constable Marc asked. I nodded and motioned for them to follow me.

"Very well gentlemen. And what of the babysitter?" I asked trying to keep my voice calm. How could some idiot leave a boy on their own why they drank some free booze? If I ever got my hands on that girl…

"She is in custody." Constable Marc replied. He gave me a flirty smile and I all but cut him off.

"Well, you may wait in the waiting area until Ms Hayes says you can talk to him with the doctors authorisation before hand." I told them.

"Thank you." Constable Marc said and gave me the once over. I glared at him and walked away down the hall.

I came to the nurse station, where some interns and other nurses were seated on the table. Nurse Becket was getting coffee and gave me a smile as she passed me. I sat down at the table where two interns were playing go fish and another nurse was filling out a clipboard.

"Do you have any 5's?" Serena asked Carter. They were both interns and from time to time glared at each other from separate ends of the table.

Serena was an African American woman who had the coolest mood and sharpest tongue. Her glared could be an immediate 'fuck off' sign. Or her seductive smile could be an immediate 'fuck me' sign. Her body was slender and curvy with the right sway of the hips.

Carter on the other hand was a scrawny and very nervous man. Her wore big black glasses and his hair was always combed straight to one side. It was adorable in some cases but his look right know could be no doubt the most adorable thing ever. He was frightened as he looked Serena and cowardly sank into his chair.

"Go fish," he mumbled.

She huffed and her face scrunched up as she picked up a card. I then realized why she was mad-she already had at least 20 cards in her hand and Carter had 5.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh hey, Alice." Serena said in a more cheery tone when she stopped glaring at Carter.

I smiled kindly at her. "Hey Serena, Carter. So how many times have you beaten her?" I asked.

"7, " he slightly muttered, even though I could hear perfectly.

I laughed out loud as they continued to play.

A minute later, my darling daughter walked through the room, looking slightly uncomfortable. She gave me a frazzled look and I instantly reacted. I shot up out of my seat and ran over to her on the other side of the room. Thankfully, Serena and Carter were to wound up in there game to notice.

"Honey, what's wrong? What happened?" I whispered worriedly.

She was slightly shaking and her eyes were black. She looked to be in shock but I couldn't tell. "Blood." She whispered. "Lot's of blood." Her gaze went down to her green scrubs and I saw the amount of blood she was covered in.

I gasped slightly pulling her to me. "Honey, listen to me. I'm going to get you out of here okay, but I need to hold on for a minute. Hold your breath and we'll go and get some…food."

She nodded slightly. "Please mummy, get me out of here."

* * *

"How do you feel?" I asked quietly as we walked through the front door of our cottage in the woods.

"Better," Lily stated softly. I threw the house keys on the small table by the door and took off my coat. "Come on, honey."

I pulled her along with me by the couch and sat us down. She leaned her head down on my shoulder, while we relaxed into the soft cushions.

"I'm sorry, mum-"

"Hey, it's okay sweetheart. It was an accident. At least no one got hurt, that's all that matters." I calmed her by stroking her hair.

"It's just, I know I should not have gone into the emergency room, I'm not strong enough yet. But they couldn't find you and they were running out of time." She started to make choked sobs in the back of her throat as she clung to me.

"Honey, it happens. Don't worry okay. Shh…" I whispered softly as I patted down her hair.

She was so much like her father. She was quiet and shy and full of knowledge. She was quirky and hyperactive like me. She was all Jasper, and I couldn't ask for more. I wish she got to know him better. She had inherited her long blonde honey hair from him, her once, bright blue eyes, her facial features except for my nose. Her body was very tiny, a lot like mine but she moved like him, walked like him and acted like him.

Sometimes, it made me cry or laugh. But I was happy with my little girl. Even if technically she looked like my sister.

I am her mother, frozen at 24 years of age and she is frozen at 19. Strange, but it was fun to laugh about sometimes. At the hospital, I put down our names as Whitlock; I couldn't bear to not have it. It was our part of Jasper. But we tell everyone that we're cousins.

They don't need to know the real facts. Like when I was turned right after I had Lily-May.

Her name was Victoria, and she was a real bitch. And my only way of being free was to kill her. Because if I hadn't of killed her then she was going to kill Lily. And I'd do it all over again to save my baby.

I worked hard with all my strength to give us a life and so far, it's being going pretty good.

"Mummy?" I broke from my daze when I heard my daughter's soft broken voice.

"Yeah honey?"

"Will it get easy?"

"Of course it will."

"What if it doesn't?"

"It will, I promise. And I'll fight with you, okay?'

"Okay."

"Why don't you go shower and lay down okay? It's been a tough day."

She lifted her head and nodded. "Yeah, okay. I should do that."

I gave her one last hug and a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, Lily-May. No matter what happens I will always love you."

"I love you to mommy," she whispered and left the room. A grown woman and she still called me mommy-I loved it.

I heard Lily-May turn on the water to the shower and I heard her close the shower door. I ran to my room and changed my clothes. I figured I might as well go do the laundry. Having human scents flowing through the house was never good for Lily-May. So after every thing we wore we washed. It was the only way to keep her sane, I guess.

I piled some clothes into the washing machine and started it, and then I grabbed the dry clothes from the dryer and started to fold them. I thought about Lily-May and how much I worried for her. Even after 47 years of being a vampire she still struggles with certain scents that linger on some human's.

We tried real hard to live our lives in a normal state, even though we move around a lot. I just wish there was some other way to help my baby. But I know that what she really needs is her father.

One night when I came home from a hunt, I found Lily, only about 8 years old and she was looking at a photo of Jasper. That night I spent telling her all about him. From her identical looks of his, to his favourite… well everything.

When I first turned I had no idea what I was going to do. How I was going to raise Lily-May. Or how I was going to live normally without sleep or trying to suck her blood. I guess it was the strength she gave me from her looks of Jasper that stopped me.

I finished folding the clothes and I heard the shower head turn off. Lily's footsteps were heard from up stairs, moving around and climbing into bed.

Not long after I decided to do the same. I finished the load of laundry and took a shower. I changed into my new black track pants and a tank top and went down stairs to read a book.

After an hour of trying to read the book, I threw it on the couch. For some reason I just couldn't concentrate on it. My mind kept thinking about Jasper. And how much I need him and missed him.

Lily-May missed him too.

"Mum?"

Lily's soft voice broke me out of my stance as I looked up to see her standing in black leggings and an old oversized very out-dated grey jumper. I recognised the jumper as Jasper's.

I shifted in my spot on the couch. "Yeah, honey."

"I've been thinking…" she strode over to sit next to me. "I don't want to go back to the hospital."

That caught me off guard. "Oh."

"Mum, I want to go to dance school."

I pulled back, shocked. "Dance school?" She nodded her head gently.

Oh boy. It's not like I was disappointed or mad about it. It's just my worry over her. But dancing was something she always loved to do. Mostly, she'd just put some music on and dance to it in the piano room.

"Well, I guess if it's what you want." I said.

"It is. You're not mad are you?"

"What, honey no. Look, when we put you through high school and then college and med school, I thought you would be able to learn to control your scent. And it's been hard on you and I'm sorry." Guilt laced my words.

She shook her head. "No, mum. I wanted to. I want to be able to control my scent better and the hospital was our best bet. But I figure maybe if I'm around human's with something I enjoy then it won't be as painful."

"Oh, well. Seeing how you've considered it, why don't I think about it and we can talk more about it later?" I suggested. I wasn't sure it was a good idea and she saw it in my eyes.

"Okay," she agreed as she dropped her head.

"Honey it's not that I don't want you to go. It's about you being ready. The last few years have been tough, I know. But I need to really think about this to make sure I'm making the right decision."

"Fine then," she pouted with slight annoyance.

"Look, it's been a long day. Why don't we just get some rest?"

"We don't sleep mum," she snapped at me. I was a taken back. She has never gone against anything I say and has never yelled at me.

"What is the matter with you?" I said in shock and concern

A snarl ripped threw her as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Everything!"

"Whoa, whoa. Honey calm down, please? Tell me what's wrong." I begged as she stood and paced the room.

"You don't talk about dad. You don't let me do things on my own-you always make the rules. Just because you're older and can control your scent doesn't make me any less like you. I just want to be better at this…this life we have. It's hard and sometimes I just wish it never happened. I wish dad was never drafted and that he stayed and neither of us was turned into what we are now. I wish daddy was here so you weren't so miserable." She finished her rant breathing heavily.

"I'm not miserable-"

"Yes you are. All my life I've noticed how sad you are and I just wish you would talk about it so you aren't unhappy."

She's right Jasper was my weak link. Just thinking his name tore me through and through.

"Your right, Lil. I miss him more than anything. But I will not talk about this tonight. But I promise we will eventually, okay. Let's just talk about dance school first." I started to walk away but Lily grabbed my arm.

"Stop it mum. Stop hiding from me. I'm your daughter, don't shut me out."

"Lily!" I protested. I instantly felt guilty for snapping at her but sometimes you just need to. "I'm sorry but I just can't talk about it now."

Her angry looked turned sour. "You never are, are you?"

Then she was gone. I heard her bedroom door slam shut so hard the house vibrated. And I did the same.

* * *

So what do you guys think?? I am supposed to be doing loads of homework but i decided to update this instead. My best friend is going to kill me for it. Oh well...


	3. Awkward

**Chapter 3. Awkward**

The next morning it was quiet and awkward. I wasn't sure what to do with Lily-May. I was afraid she was going to yell at me again. I don't know how to make this better but I know what will make her happy. Dance School.

I stood at the kitchen counter looking through the few pamphlets she gave me last night. There were a few exceptional one's but I wanted Lily to go to the best.

I read through a few and finally made my decision. I picked up the phone and made a call. I listened closely for Lily-May's movements. I heard music blasting from her room; again she was listening to her Ipod. Good, she won't hear me.

A few minutes later, with a large amount of my savings gone I heard small footsteps.

"Mum." I heard a tiny whisper behind me. I turned and smiled at my daughter.

"Come and sit down, Lil." I said and sat at the kitchen table.

I took a deep breath. "So I've been looking at these all morning and I came to a decision." My face held no expression as I tried to keep the smile off my face.

"And?" She asked as she lowered her eyes to her lap.

"I've decided you will attend Westminster School of dance and performing Arts." I said excitedly.

Her head shot up. "What?"

"You heard me. You start tomorrow morning, 8 am on the dot."

She squealed and jumped off her seat and hugged me tight. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm. "Okay, okay, calm down."

"Oh my gosh!" She suddenly stopped.

"What?" I asked when her face went blank.

"I need to go shopping for new things. And books. Pens. Paper. A schoolbag. CLOTHES!" She screamed.

I laughed at her. "Go upstairs and get ready. I'll meet you down at the car in 10 minutes." I said to her and her smiled widened. I loved seeing her happy.

Without another word she disappeared. I heard her things upstairs rattling around. I locked up the house and grabbed my brown leather handbag and raced to the car.

About 2 minutes later, Lily-May was in the passenger seat jumping giddily all the way to New York.

* * *

At 5 pm we walked in the front door loaded with 70 bags. Yes, exactly 70 bags. Lily-May was still excited and raced up to her room with her bags.

"Mum!" I heard her shout as I opened up the back door letting cool air into the house.

"Yes!" I shouted back as I picked up some bags.

"I need help!" She shouted in a frustrated voice.

"Okay, I'm coming!"

We didn't really need to shout but it was fun sometimes to act like a normal pair of mother-daughter humans.

I walked up the stairs and then down the hall to Lily-May's room. I stood in the doorway, shocked. Her room looked like a tornado hit it. Literally.

"Oh my…" I trailed off.

Lily-May looked up innocently. So much like her father. "What?"

I huffed and began picking up her items. "What, oh so gracious one, do you need help with?" I asked teasingly.

She giggled when she looked around her room. "I need to pack my bag and I don't know what I will need. And I need to sort my clothes. I think some will need to go into the spare closet 'cause I can tell they will not all fit and what do I do?!"  
She said frantically talking in vampire speed.

I dumped her stuff on her bed and held up my hands in surrender. "Okay. Number 1. Calm down. Number 2. Collect your clothes into a pile and sort them by colour in piles of tops, dresses, pants, shorts, etc."

And we did in only five minutes. All over he floor was pile upon piles of sorted clothes by colour.

I clapped my hands for attention. "Now, which clothes are for dancing and just for fun?"

In a few minuets she had separate piles. "Now put away the clothes for going out purposes and put them into the spare closet." I ordered.

"Okay." Lily-May picked up the clothes into a laundry basket and ran down the hall.

When we bought the house I created a small spare room into a large wardrobe to fit all our extra clothes in. We had fun putting on modelling parades and trying everything on every now and again.

While she did that I picked out her dance clothes into what went with what and what she will wear tomorrow.

A minute later Lily-May walked back into the room and began packing her dance and school bags.

"Mum?"

"Yeah, babe?" I folded some leotards into her drawers as she packed her schoolbooks and stationary.

"What about the hospital?"

I turned and smiled at her. She had a worried look in her eyes, something she got from her father. "I e-mailed in your resignation letter earlier this morning will you were sulking in your room." I said with a laughed.

"I was not sulking," she muttered zipping up her bag.

I just chuckled at her stubbornness. Lord knows she did not get that from me.

"Am I a lot like daddy as you say I am?" Lily-May was sitting on her clothes-free bed now. I put away the last of her clothes before I joined her on the bed.

"Yes, in every way possibly. It's kind of scary sometimes." I stroked her cheek and she looked down.

"What's wrong, Lil?"

"Mum, I'm sorry about last night. I should not have said those things." She looked up with guilt in her eyes.

"I appreciate the apology but you really have nothing to be sorry for. It's my mistake about never talking about him. It's just…I lost your father in a way not one should ever lose the one they love. And your so young, appearance wise, and you never knew him. I knew you would one day ask questions, I just wish I never had to answer them. I always wished he could be here."

We were silent for a while. I played with some loose stitching on the bed spread and Lily-May kept her gaze out the window.

"So dance school tomorrow?" I said with a tired sigh.

"Yeah," She looked over at me. "Do you think I'm ready?"

"You're more than ready. Baby, your daddy would be so proud of you."

She nodded and leaned down to rest her head in my lap. I leaned back against the headboard in a more comfortable position.

As the night went on, minutes grew to hours and suddenly the sun was up. I left her to get ready for her day while I went and showered to get ready for work.

I was in the kitchen reading the paper as I waited for Lily-May. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that she was going to be late.

"Lily-May Katherine Whitlock! Get your but down here or you'll be late!" I folded the paper and left it on the table.

When I turned, Lily-May was standing in the doorway with two bags. One for her schoolbooks and the other filled with her dance gear.

She was dressed in a pair of comfy black leggings, a light pink wrap with a black leotard underneath, a black wrap skirt over the top, black and white striped ballet flats that went well with her outfit and her hair was neatly pined into a low bun.

"How do I look?" She asked and gave a small twirl.

I smiled brightly at her. "You look like a fairy." I teased her.

"Mum," she whined, crossing her arms in front of her chest and stomping her foot.

I laughed at her scrunched up adorable face. "I'm joking. You look like a dancer."

"Thank you." She smiled triumphantly.

"Now lets' go or you'll be late."

* * *

With my fast driving we arrived at the school within 30 minutes. Lily-May was practically dancing in the passenger seat with excitement.

When I pulled up she smiled even brighter.

"Now do you have everything?" I asked being my motherly self. The nagging, caring, do-you-have-everything mother that got on one's child self.

"Yes," she dragged out. She opened the door and got out.

"Okay, well have a good day and be strong. Emphasis on strong." I pointed out. She knew what I meant.

She gasped and turned around getting back in the car and slamming the door.

"I can't do this. What if I lose control and hurt someone?" She cried.

_Crap, I jinxed it. _Now I have to turn into the mother figure thing. I didn't like it that much knowing my daughter technically looks that same age as me. It feels weird. I like sticking to the best friend act or more of the sister thing.

I rolled my eyes. Typical Lily. She always gets excited at first then she freaks out at the last minutes.

"Lily, you can do this. Now. Get. Out. Of. My. Car." I said sternly. "Out. Out. Out." I flicked my hand over her shoulder to push her out of the car.

"What? Mum." She whined and dodged my hand.

"I said 'out'. Remember you wanted this so march your butt in there and I don't want to hear one more word. Okay?"

I looked at her and she smiled. "Thanks mummy. I love you." She shouted as she climbed out of the car.

"Love you too." I shouted back. I sat in the car while I watched her bounce, yes bounce into the school excitedly. I saw almost all heads turn and watch her walk. No surprise there. Anyone who saw us always looked twice, no question there. The male gender literally had a drool pool around them as they saw us. And like no other day, they did as they watched Lily-May.

Lily-May swayed her hips and gave her infamous smirk at some of the boys. She knew what she was doing, using her beauty as a cat and mouse game. A little game she loved to play with them. She turned and smiled at me through the windshield before she entered the school.

I chuckled and sped off to work.

* * *

When I arrived at the hospital it was surprisingly quiet. I checked the roster and notice there wasn't much happening today.

I sighed and went into the locker room to change. No one was in there when I came in so at vampire speed I changed quickly from my jeans and blouse to my scrubs. Thank god no videos cameras were in here because that would be perverted and very hard to explain my quick pace in changing.

I looked at my left hand and twirled my wedding rings around my finger before taking them off and setting them in a little red box I keep them in when I'm working. I grabbed a hair tie and threw my shoulder length black hair into a ponytail. I sat on the bench and tied my white shoes and left the room after closing my locker shut tightly.

The day went by quiet. I mostly did paper work all day, something I haven't done in a while.

I spoke to soon.

By 1 pm the hospital was a mad house. Calls were coming in about accidents; patients were brought in on stretchers, injured people filled the waiting room and chaos spread everywhere.

_Just another typical day in the E.R._

At this moment, a young man, mid twenties was brought in by ambulance from a car accident on the highway from speed racing with another car.

"Doctor Fin, I need two bags of A- stat!" I yelled as I raced the stretcher into the operating room. With my great senses I practically ran this hospital. And it was fun bossing the doctors around.

"Aren't I the doctor here Whitlock?" He yelled sarcastically grabbing the bags of blood from another nurse.

"Not today old man," I joked as I fastened the I.V needles into my patient's arm.

I took one look at him and new he was about to crash. Plus the vision I just encountered helped me.

"He's hem raging. There's to much pressure." I said as some doctors and nurses surrounded me in their own job.

"Whitlock-" Doctor Fin started.

"Just trust me!" I argued and he did. About two minutes later before my patient lost his life we saved him.

As I walked out of the room I took off my scrubs that were covered in blood. I guess it's a good thing I don't breath.

The day went buy, a few lives were lost sadly but many were saved.

Towards the afternoon I was standing by the nurses station filling out a chart when Serena walked up to me, hands filled with reports. She dumped on the desk, making Marge jump a little in her seat.

"Hey Serena," I said politely finishing off a sentence.

She sighed straightening up her files. "Hey Alice. Has today been busy or what?"

"Yeah," I said not knowing what else to say.

Suddenly Serena perked up. "So did you hear about the new Doctor that will be gracing our lovely presence tomorrow morning?"

"Nope, but I guess your going to tell me anyway…" I said. This was a normal thing when a hot new doctor arrived at the hospital. Serena would go into sex drive and over excitement.

"His name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and from what I hear he is only in his mid 20's." she said in a dreamy haze.

I gave a small smirk checking off another chart. "And is he single? Or is he married like the last doctor you tried to seduce?"

She rolled her eyes in a taunting way. "Oh please, Dr. Gilbert doesn't count. Besides he was far to up himself. Anyway, I don't know if he's married or not but like that'll stop me." She gave me a wink and sauntered off.

"That woman will do great things," I said signing off another chart.

I looked up when I heard Marge snort. "Yeah, like bed any man in a ten mile radius."

I gave a small chuckle. "That she will."

It was near my end of the shift and I was getting dressed out of my work clothes. I could still smell the blood on me even after I showered. I'll have to bleach my skin when I get home. Yay! Not.

I chanced a glance at my watch as I throw my jacket on knowing I was really late to pick up Lily-May. Oops!

3.

2.

1.

_Ring! Ring!_

I knew who it was without needing to check caller ID.

"Hello, Lil. I know I'm sorry, I'm leaving now," I huffed as I answered.

"You better be on your way, mother." She sneered in annoyance then hung up.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. She was such a time freak; I knew she didn't get it from me. And she never accepted being forgotten or having to wait for people-that she got for me.

_We have little patience in this family._

Jasper clouded my mind. Everything I did, thought or heard reminded me of him. It was especially hard whenever I looked at Lil-May. I miss him so much it drives me insane.

Just as I was finishing getting dressed Dr. Billson came up to me.

"You were great today Alice, as always. Thank you," He said kindly but he continued and I knew what he was going to say. I had a vision about him asking me out again early this morning. "So I was wondering, a bunch of us are going down the street to the pub. Do you want to come?" So much hope filled his eyes.

Once again I had to turn him down. Jasper was my one and only. "I'd love to, but I'm kind of tired. And I have the morning shift," I lied, like I need sleep. "Maybe next time?" I gave my best apologetic smile.

"Yeah sure." I felt bad when I saw the hope die in his eyes.

I knew that James liked me, hell everyone knew. I just could never nor would I want to love another. I'd rather live for an eternity without Jasper than love some one else. Plus I think the though of me being a vampire would scare most people away.

I grabbed my handbag ready to leave. Something felt odd as I placed it on my shoulder. I gazed down at my body making sure I was fully clothed, and then I checked my locker again to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. At the corner of my eye I noticed that my wedding rings were still in it's little glass box. My beloved and cherished wedding rings

I sighed heavily in relief, grabbing them softly and placing them on my left ring finger.

_I would just die if I lost them._

Shutting my locker, I turned and left the hospital.

When I reached the school Lily-May was standing out the front crowed by almost every specimen that was male from the school. She was smiling and dazzling them to no end handing out her number and free photos of herself. I rolled my eyes and honked the horn.

She smiled and ran to car, blowing all the guys a kiss before jumping in the car.

I looked over at her she put on her seat belt. "What?" She asked innocently.

I shook my head and drove away from the curb. "I am so not paying for your phone bill."

* * *

**A/N sorry about the low updates there really is no excuse i'm just lazy.**

**Leave me some love and hit the green button...you know you want to...**


	4. Remember

**Chapter 4. Remember**

Today was the first day of Westminster School of dance and performing Arts for Lily-May. She was both excited and frightened. Her love for dancing wasn't as strong as her lust for blood, and she was frightened about losing her control.

All heads turned in her direction as her everlasting beauty shocked them all. The girl's were jealous of her and the boy's wanted her. With her striking good looks and vibrant smile, no one in their right mind dared get very close to her. Her golden eyes shined and her pale white skin ice cold but looked soft to touch.

As Lily-May entered her first class, every student stopped and gasped. She smiled shyly, and moving gracefully to the floor to stretch. Not like she needed to but it was for the sole benefit of the purpose trying to act normal.

The Studio was lined with mirrors, railings and a piano to the eastern wall. A giant window overlooked part of New York City. The view looked amazing. The hardwood floor made it is easy for her to gracefully sink to the floor.

As she wrapped her feet in her ballet shoes, she kept her eyes down on her task. She new this would be a huge step but she didn't know it would be this alarming to humans. As far as the scent of their blood went she was fine, but the cautious glances they all gave her sent her nerves into overdrive. And she thought high school was hard.

Lily-May unzipped her cotton jumper and stood to her feet. She moved over to the railing and stretched her legs.

She could hear what everyone was saying and she suddenly felt all her self-esteem tumble down the drain. A small sigh escaped her as she continued her ministrations, ignoring the whispers around her.

A loud clap broke her out of her thoughts. A lean, dark skinned man walked into the room wearing black dress pants, a black wife beater and black ballet shoes. Lily-May noticed that every other student's eyes brightened up.

"Good Moring students. Glad to see you all looking so well and refreshed. To those those who are new to the school, I welcome you to Westminster. I am you teacher, Harvey Danes." He spoke strong and confident. A few of the girls giggled. "Now let's get started. Those who are new, raise your hand."

Lily-May raised her hand long with two other students. As she was standing at the front, Harvey picked her first. "What is your name?"

"Lily-May Whitlock." She answered. Most of the students gasped. The sweet, smooth tone of her voice shocked them. But Lily-May would not let them make her feel like an outcast or appear weak.

"Whitlock." Harvey answered. "Interesting name."

Lily-May gulped. He couldn't know who she is; she knew her mother checked out the whole school listings before agreeing to let her go here.

He then pointed at her. "Show me what you can do." He pointed to the piano play. "Five, six, seven, eight."

Lily-May leaped into a graceful position and moved freely against the music. When she landed everyone was staring at her in awe. She smiled.

Harvey clapped slowly; she didn't even falter her stance. "Now that is what I call ballet. Well done, Miss. Whitlock. Now, everyone into position and start with this combination."

For the rest of the morning Lily-May danced and felt good about it. When it came time to break for lunch, a small redheaded girl ran up to her.

"You are amazing," she gushed, shaking her headed in chuckles. But when she stopped and looked at her completely she gasped in shock. "Your eyes…" she trailed off.

Lily-May panicked for a split second. "Oh, the colour, it's contacts." She lied, shoving her shoes in her bag.

The redheaded girl shook her head. "Oh how rude of me, I'm Penn." She held out her hand.

Lily-May took it cautiously. "Lily-May, but you can just call me Lily." Penn looked down that their shaking hands.

"Your hands are so cold…" Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes.

_Was this girl going to pinpoint all my vampire faults?_

"I'm cold, come on lets go get something to eat," she said hurriedly and guiding Penn outside the studio.

By lunchtime, Lily-May had friends lining up to meet her. Apart of her was scared, some students had such sweet smelling scents. It made her crave their blood. The other part of her was happy she had friends. For the first time since she was a human, Lily-May actually had friends.

However, the guys were a different story. She already had three guys ask her out but she turned them both down. The rest all gave her their numbers, feeling bad she knew she would never call them.

When she rang her mother telling her to come and get her, a swarm of horny teenage male ballerinas crowded around her like crazy. She was relieved when her mother finally showed up and she bolted to the car.

Later that night, she went on and on about her day to her mother. Alice noticed how happy she really was and that made her realise she made the right decision.

On Thursday evening, Alice was working her usual night shift and that left Lily-may home by herself. When she got home for school, she did some laundry to rid the scent of the humans that lingered on her clothing.

Lily-May took a nice long relaxing shower. She washed her beautiful honey blonde hair with her favourite shampoo that smelt liked peaches. The light scent of human faintly lingered on her skin so she used the bleach her mother kept on the shelf and poured the liquid over her till the smell was gone.

She turned off the shower and wrapped a white fluffy towel around her. Steam filtered the bathroom and he mirror was fogged up. She used her hand to wipe away the condensation and looked at herself in the reflexion.

A frown coated her face. Forty-four years later and not a day over 19, a sob racked her body. Her small delicate features were as cold as ice and her complexion almost as the spitting image of her father. She sighed.

Nothing would bring him back. Nothing would make her mother happy again. Nothing would ever be as normal as it ever was. Nothing would ever fill the gap in her heart. She missed her father; she never met him yet she still missed. All she ever wished for on her birthday when she blew out the candles was for her father to be back home and say he loved her.

She shook her head taking a deep breath. When she looked at herself, her eyes were almost black and she needed to hunt. She wouldn't make it through tomorrow, she was sure of it.

As slow as her mind could take, feeling weak from thinking about her father, she walk to her room and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. She went back to the bathroom and blow-dried her hair, throwing it up into a ponytail. She hated wearing her hair out when she hunted, the last time she accidentally got blood all through it.

On her way out she grabbed her black zip up jacket and her navy converse shoes. In a flash she was on her way, deep into the woods.

On a tall, large willow tree, Lily-May sat on a branch with her legs dangling as she awaited for the sound of a deer.

A rustling in the far distance caught her attention. She waited as the sound of the running deer came closer and closer. She got into a crouch position and jumped, landing on top of the scared animal. She tackled it, knocking it out and licked her lips. A fresh flow of venom coated her sharp teeth as they sank into the unconscious form beneath her.

After sucking the lifeless deer till the last drop she hid the poor thing inside a large bush, covering up the evidence. For another 2 hours and 3 dead deer later she started to walk slowly back to their cottage. Her shoulders were slumped and thoughts of her father still played around in her head.

What would he think of me? Living on animal blood? A vampire? He'd be ashamed of me.

A large broken trunk stood in her way; she leaped up on top of it and jumped down in full grace like it was stepping over a stone, landing on the other. She kept on strolling through the dusky woods. However, Lily-May was the most deadly creature out their, on top of the food chain and nothing worried her. In fact the only that scared her was her mother when she was angry.

The cracking of a twig stopped her movements. Her abrupt holt and still demeanour made her look like a deadly creature. Just like her mother, Lily-May has a special gift to, she was able to see into peoples past, just images but contact. She used that to her advantage when she wanted to see her parents before her father died. Her favourite was the first dance her parents shared the night they were married. Unfortunately, that wouldn't help her now.

Slow moving breaths from above her had her thinking. It was a human, she could tell but they had no heartbeat, she couldn't hear it. It has to be a nomad, she thought.

She turned around and looked up. Everything was still, nothing, not a flash or a sound. Ever so closely she looked around, her own breathing stopped and her eyes glued to every tree.

"Who's there?" She asked, her voice just below a yell.

Not a sound.

"I know you're there. Show yourself!" But again, not a thing.

The silent vibration of her phone in her pocket scared her. She jumped a little but without breaking her sight on the trees, she grabbed her phone and answered it.

"Hello?" She answered quietly.

"Lily, it's Penn."

_Crap!_

"Oh, hi Penn. Look you caught me at a bad time, I'll call you back in a few. Okay, bye." She hung up immediately without waiting for a response.

There still was no movement, and for some odd reason that made her anger build up. With her mother acting like a comatose zombie, her father six feet under the ground, trying not to feed on her new class mates she did not have time to deal with a psychotic nomad vampire.

"Come out and show yourself!" She yelled angrily, but still nothing. She sighed frustratingly.

She shook her head and gave up. As fast as her legs could carry her, she ran home, breaking a few trees along the way.

The next morning when her mother came home, Lily-May made the decision of not telling her about the close encounter the night before. Just the look on her mothers face proved Alice didn't have the strength to deal with it.

Lily-May would tell her, but not until after next week. With her opened organiser opened in her lap, the date of next week was creeping closer and her mother obviously didn't need extra stress.

Lily-May watched as Alice walked straight past her without any recognition and walked ever so slowly to her room. She closed the door and the creak of the bed was all Lily-May heard. She was worried about her mother, all these years and it just gets worse every day.

An hour passed, no sound from Alice's room was heard and Lily-May ascended the stairs. She found her mother, still in her work clothes just sitting on the edge of the bed. Not moving, not breathing and not living.

"Mum." She whispered. Slowly, she sat down next to her. "Are you okay?"

Alice shook her head so slowly like she barely moved at all. "I saw him. Jasper."

Lily-May was confused. "What do you mean? You saw dad?"

"Yes, in a vision. He was standing in the middle of the forest. But it was just a glance, nothing much. But he was different, like us but in modern clothing. It was strange."

"Mum, that doesn't make any sense. Dad…he's…" She couldn't finish the sentence without choking on a sob.

"I know that's why I'm scared." All emotions were drained from her voice.

"I don't understand, how's it possible for you to see-"

"I don't know. Your father died, I was there, I had to watch them lower the casket with friends and family. I spoke to the doctor who tried to save your father. It isn't right; my mind must be playing tricks on me. There's no way he could have been there." Alice rambled, her words pouring out. The events referring to Jasper's funeral took over her emotions and she became silent, lifeless.

"Mum? Mum. Alice!" Lily cried out as she watched her mother toucher herself once again.

Lily-May couldn't get a single word out of her. So she did the only thing she knew, she exhaled and stood up. She leant down and kissed her mothers cheek before leaving her alone in the dark.

This happened on a regular basis, but after so many years Lily-May found it easier to just leave her mother alone until she came back to earth.

As quick as she was able, she dressed and gathered her things before leaving her mother a note and left for school. She hesitated while she sat in her mothers car before she took off.

School passed by quickly. She only spoke when spoken to, danced when need be and completed her school work before any other student was half-way finished theirs. She couldn't help but think about her mother's lifeless state. Lily-May wasn't stupid, she knew if she never existed Alice would have killed herself alone time ago. It makes Lily-May feel guilty sometimes, knowing her mother would never really find peace without her father. She knows her mother loves more than anything but there has always been that small hole she was never able to fill.

* * *

Lily-May sped down the street leaving me to my thoughts. All I could see was that one lone image of my husband. It frightened me to death but somehow it felt real even though I knew it couldn't be.

In just a few days it would be his birthday, the same day I got the letter that he was taken from me in battle. I cursed myself, I should never of let him go. I should have protested and made him stay. But I didn't.

I sighed and leaned back against the pillows. One minute I was happily in love, a baby on the way and then I got the letter that changed everything. He was gone, never to return while I watched out daughter grow up. And he didn't.

My whole world evolved around our daughter; if she wasn't with me then I don't know what I would do. She was my meaning of living and I could never, ever lose her. It would be my last straw of remaining existent on this earth; she was my main reason for being where I am today. It is hard sometimes, I won't to myself but sometimes I wish things were different. I would do anything for her, although apart of me still wished I could go back and never let him go. But I would never regret Lily-May, no matter what.

It was funny really, the term vampires. It was such a bizarre mythical term that almost every human being knows it's just a child's nightmare. We are not real, just fiction, but they are so wrong. However, in reality, in my world it is true. The creators may not have all the facts about our true existence but they come very close. When Lily-May was very young, not even a vampire we used to laugh about how crazy it is. Then we would watch the worst vampire made movies ever, we could never watch a movie with a straight face. Always laughing at the wrong stipulations they place upon vampires.

I curled into a ball and lay there for god knows how long. All I could think about where the dreams I used to have of us. Dreams of us being married, having children, growing old together, watching our grandchild run around us on a porch. So many wonderful memories clouded my mind. Sometimes when it all came to much, I would wish I could just sleep, to shut my mind off.

I hadn't realised how late it was until I heard Lil-May walk through the door. I sat up feeling sluggish and broken. Her silent footsteps noted that she was giving me some space. A glance at the clock on my wall told me I had to be at work in less than an hour. I jumped into the shower and got ready.

As I blow-dried my hair, I couldn't help but notice how long it actually was. In fact, I didn't like it. It was not I anymore. I wasn't that girl anymore. I wanted a new style. Lily-May poked her head in door, looking confused.

"Mum, what are doing?" She walked in behind me, staring with raised eyebrows as I fiddle with my hair trying to figure out what suited me.

"I want a new look." I stated simply.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Okay…so…no, wait I'm still confused. Why are you changing your hair?"

"Because I want to. I just feel like a new haircut is in order." I said turning my hair over so it looked like a bob.

"Well, then in that case why don't we go to the hairdresser and see what you want to do then-"

"No hairdresser, I want you to do it. Cut it off." I said grabbing the sharp scissors and placing them in her hand. She looked at like I completely lost it.

"No!" she yelled. "Mum, please. I know this time of year is tough but we'll get through it. Please, mum, you're scaring me." She cried.

The look in her eyes made me feel guilty. I did not realise how much I was hurting her. I grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her tight to me. We hugged each other so tightly, that if a human was between us, they would be nothing but thin piece of paper.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry," I whispered in her ear as her whole body trembled with unshed tears.

"I'm scared mum, I'm really scared. We've already lost dad and I can't lose you too." She said so quietly I barely heard her.

Wait, what? Lose me?

"Honey, what are you talking about? You're not going to lose me. I promise you that." I grabbed her small, delicate face in between my hands softy, reassuring her. She nodded sadly and I pulled her back to me.

"I know, it's just that sometimes the only reason you're here today is because of me. I've seen images of you before we were turned, images with dad and I could feel how happy you were. I've never seen you smile like that before," she sobbed.

Guilt washed over me as I sat us down on the edge of the bathtub. "I know that I haven't always been so strong, but I have never, nor will I ever regret having you in my life. Yes, I miss your father more than anything in this world, not a minute goes by that I won't think of him. Lily, I love you. I may make stupid decisions and I know I screw up but no matter what, you are my world. And I'm sorry about before."

We both smiled sadly as I hugged her again. All was forgiven.

"You know, I remember you, right when you where just starting to walk." I started and she perked up. She loved when I talked about our past. They were the happy memories. "We were in the gardens, white and pink lilies surrounded us. You were mostly just crawling, sticking your face in every flower you could reach." I laughed thinking back to that memory.

She laughed along with me as I told her the story. "You were dressed in a beautiful pink and yellow dress, and you couldn't reach the one flower you wanted but couldn't get to. I walked over to you and you pointed to the flower. I was just about to full it out for you when you cried saying no. You reached up, but still couldn't get it. You were so stubborn, just like your father, like Jasper.

"So I left you too it, trying to reach that one flower. I walked around the garden; it was a sunny day so you could imagine how much I shone like diamond. 'Pretty jewel', is what you would say. Then one second I was standing, smelling on of the pink lilies when I looked down and there you were. I couldn't believe my eyes. Your cute little smile plastered all over your face as you walked, well when I mean walk; you waddle over to me with that one lone flower you wanted clutched in her hand." I laughed, smiling at the memory.

"Really, that's how I started walking?" Lily-May asked excitedly next to me.

"Yes, everyday we went out to the gardens and you would walk around everywhere. You were the most beautiful, cutest thing I had ever seen. You still are." I gushed.

After spending some time talking, I realised I was really late for work. I kissed her forehead and told her we'd talk more when I got home. It felt good to actually talk things through. It was what we both needed.


	5. Last Kiss

**Chapter 5. (surprise!) Jasper's POV**

A knock at the door alerted me back to the presence. I heard a shuffling of feet and a steady intake of breath.

"Come in," I said softly. I turned off the soft music I had playing on my old vinyl record player.

The door slowly opened and a soft voice came apparent. "Hey."

"Bella." I stated, welcoming her in. "What can I do you for?"

She moved forward with ease and sat down on my couch with ease. "I feel like I haven't spoken to you in ages. You seem down lately, what's going on inside that head of yours?" Her voice sounded like tinkling little bells, yet words held curiosity in them.

"Nothing Bella, I'm fine." My abrupt retort had her gasping in sadness. My back remained to her as I stared out the big open windows.

"Don't lie to me. You know I hate when you do that," she sounded saddened by my words.

A sigh escaped me. I've known her since day one. She saved me from death all those years ago. She was the one person I could never lie to. She was my sister of sorts I guess you could say.

I turned to her and sat beside her. She curled into me, looking like a small child with her small pout. "I'm sorry. I really am fine though, Bella."

"Really?" she asked not yet convinced. I gave her my dazzling smile to reassure her.

"Don't you have a husband to go bother?" I said nudging her with my elbow.

She rolled her eyes, giving off a light chuckle. "He's with Emmett hunting. I didn't feel like going. So I told him I'd stay back here with you."

My mind reeled back to the time I met her. I was in hospital after being injured in the army. I cringed at the memory though. She tendered to me reassuring me that I would be okay. For the most part, I was unconscious and lying on a hospital bed.

Bella was a nurse there at the army camp where she quickly became my friend. She told me all about her family and the places she had been. Carlisle and Esme were her adopted parents; Carlisle was a doctor and worked at many hospitals wherever they remained permanent at residency. Esme is caring and a motherly figure of the family. Rosalie and Emmett, her siblings who shared a very physical relationship but non the else a happy married couple. Emmett is a big teddy bear and Rosalie is a self-loving absorbed princess. Bella is self-less, fun loving and child-like, that keeps us entertained at times. Edward was married to Bella, who treated her like a queen, always protective and loving. And they were my family.

After my time in the army, Bella took me in and loved me like a brother. She saved me due to the fact that I always called for her name. For Alice. Bella said I deserved a second chance with my wife, so she turned me into a vampire. She was always understanding and forgiving about my slip-ups.

As a family, we moved around a lot. A new city or country every four or five years, it was to keep our identity a secret. Just a week ago we moved here to Connecticut from London. It was a rather louder place to be, but Bella decided upon this place and whatever Bella wants, Edward gives it to her.

Bella's small voice broke me out of my thoughts for the second time. "Carlisle starts at the new hospital in a few days."

"Oh, I forgot about that." I really didn't forget I just knew the topic that was coming and didn't want to speak of it.

"Why won't you go with him? You know you can, and you have the qualifications to."

"No Bella, I told you before. I don't want to do that, not again."

"Last time was a mistake."

I stood up and paced in front of her. "I killed that poor girl." My voice sounded more icy and scared.

"Her scent was strong, you didn't mean to. It was an accident, you didn't mean to hurt her." Bella pleaded, defending me once again.

"I said no, Bella, and that's final."

She gave a slight nod, knowing my decision was final. "Then what will you do? Come back to school with us?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Well, this isn't much time left, so you need to decide quick." She stood up and walked over to my vinyl player.

"I'll give you my answer on Monday. Fair enough?" I reasoned, standing with my back to her.

"Okay, fine." She seemed oddly distracted so turned around to face her.

"Why do you always listen to this song?" she asked, hinting to the song playing.

I sighed, shaking my head. "It's just a song, Bella."

"That wasn't what I asked. You're reverting the question, why?"

"Leave it alone Bella."

"It's her song isn't it? It's Alice's." She prodded. "Don't deny it Jasper."

"Okay, yes it's _our_ song!" I hissed, turning it off.

" _Our song_?" She repeated.

"It was our wedding song. " I whispered. My legs gave out and I landed on the edge of the couch.

I never told Bella, or anyone else about Alice. I always kept those memories to myself. What they know is enough. It wasn't like they never asked; I just never had the strength to talk about her. The reason why Bella was the only one who knew about her was the fact that I spoke about her before she changed me. After the changing process happened, I shut down and never spoke of her again.

Why Bella was asking me all of a sudden about my deceased wife was beyond me. For years I longed to just feel that love again, I knew that I would never feel that way again. It's easy when you're a vampire, you can just shut your emotions off like a button.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I just want to know about her." Bella whispered, patting my back.

In a second I was gone from the couch and back again like I hadn't moved. In my hand was a wedding picture of Alice and I. The only thing I cherished in this world is that photo.

"This is she." I pointed at the old worn photo. "My Alice."

"Wow, she's beautiful. I can't believe…she is way more gorgeous than I pictured." Bella gushed. "What happened to her?" Her voice saddened.

"About two years after you turned me, I went back there. Only to make sure she was okay, I knew that I wasn't safe to be around with. But I needed to see her. Anyway, when I got there, the whole place was empty. Nothing left except the missing persons sign on the kitchen floor. Alice had disappeared, apparently. So I went to her sister's house and she told me they presumed Alice died. They found b-blood…and her torn clothes by the woods." My breathing quickened speaking it for the first time out loud.

"Oh Jasper, I'm so sorry."

"The never found our baby either." My voice choked at the last bit.

"You're a father?" She gasped.

"I w_as_ a father." I muttered. "It was hard to believe at first, it never seemed real. That was until I saw their gravestones. Beside mine."

"Jasper, I'm so, so sorry-"

"Don't Bella. It doesn't matter anymore."

"How can it not matter? You lost your wife and baby, but you should still-"

"The only reason I'm still here is because I let them go a long time ago, Bella! I can't risk exposing this family if I make a mistake. I depended only trying not to feed off a human. Alice would have wanted me to move on, but I will never love another." I felt defeated…and alone.

I hated this feeling of weakness, but nothing could ever help heal the pain of losing my wife and daughter.

"What was her name? Your daughter?" Bella whispered, still staring at the photo.

"Lily-May." I whispered. Then I added, "I don't even know what she looked liked. Did she look like me or like Alice? Maybe both of us? I didn't even get to say that I love her." I was a broken man.

"Do you regret what you are? What I did to you?" She didn't look at me.

"I won't lie to you, Bella. Yes I do, only because I don't have them by my side. But I love you all like a family."

I could feel that my honesty pained her. But I knew that Bella hated when she was lied to.

By nightfall, the others returned from their hunting trip. Bella jumped into Edward's arms, their love and adoration rolled off them. Bella stopped suddenly and smiled sadly at me. I sent waves of calm through her.

She gave a small laugh and shook her head.

"How was it?" I asked Carlisle as he retreated to his office.

"Very well, thank you Jasper. I suppose Bella and you kept yourselves occupied while we were gone."

"If you mean occupied as in Bella forcing me to teach her history of the civil war than yes." Of course I lied but I didn't want to go into a discussion that would only break down my walls once again.

"Good."

"When do you leave for the hospital?"

"Not for a few hours. Why? Have you made a decision about joining me at the hospital?"

"I have been thinking about it a lot. But I'm still undecided."

"Can you give me an answer by the end of the week?" He reasoned. I got the feeling he had been expecting my answer.

"Of course."

I stood to leave, when I reached the door I turned around. "You asked Bella to bug me about it didn't you?"

He smiled. "I would never do such a thing."

I smirked and left his office.

When I returned to my room, I shut the door quietly and locked it. I grabbed the picture of my wife and a silver Zippo. The farthest wall of my bedroom faced a large open window. The lights were off and the only light that filtered the room was from the moon shining through.

I slid down the wall with one leg spread out and the other lifted, bent at the knee. I flicked the lighter as I looked at the photo. Sixty-seven years have passed and all I feel is guilt and anger.

The light blew out and I flicked it again. The photo was only visible with the orange flame.

Cynthia, Alice's sister, was shocked to see me alive. When I showed up, she looked like she had seen a ghost. We sat at her kitchen table and she told me about Lily-May and Alice's disappearance. They never found the bodies, but had enough proof to call them dead.

She told me how she would look after Lily-May for hours while Alice would stay home and grieve. Then one day she was supposed to show up but she and Lily-May never did. Then the search began and then…nothing. Cynthia and I made the agreement that I was never there. So I returned to the Cullen's, feeling I had nothing left in this world.

I shuddered at the thought of Alice, dying cold and alone. I should have been there. I should have been there to save them both.

There are times when I knew I should have kept looking, never giving up. But when I saw their gravestones, something in me just died. Nothing would ever be okay. My life was just lifeless without them.

All I ever wanted was to hold my daughter in my arms and tell her I love her. I would let Alice sleep while I got up in the middle of the night to feed her. If I could cradle Lily-May if she cried at night from the nightmares and the monsters under the bed. To laugh at her cute face when she pouted if she didn't get her way. I wouldn't have the chance to watch her grow up. I would miss all of that, and my future with my wife.

Alice and Lily-May.

I closed the Zippo, the photo in my hand falling limp beside me. The moon was barely seen behind all the trees. My gaze drifted in and out of consciousness as Alice drifted through my mind.

Before I knew it, the sun was just seen over the horizon. I could here the birds chirping outside my window. And for once, I wished it all away as the sunlight caught my hand and shined like a diamond.

I sighed heavily. Would Alice ever forgive me for leaving her? Would Lily-May think I abandoned her? Questions that had no possible answer angered me.

A loud knocking on the door echoed throughout the room.

"Jasper? It's Rosalie." A shrill feminine voice said on the other side of the door.

"Come in."

My blonde model like of sister strolled through my room with complete ease. She gave me an innocent smile before jumping on my bed and bouncing with the springs.

"Did you come here for a reason or to just stare at me all day?" With one eyebrow raised I hid my photo under my leg.

She laughed. "Actually, I came to ask you if you would help me to try and beat Edward at chess. He challenged me to a match and after what happened last time…" She trailed off, biting her lower lip.

"Say if I do, why my help?"

"Because you're the only one who can beat him. You know how to block your thoughts from him so easily. Please Jasper?"

"Okay fine, if it will get you out of here." I smiled.

"Thanks Jazz, I owe you." She said happily and raced out of my room.

The rest of the day was spent everyone taking turns in chess, with me beating Edward at every round. I've never seen him so mad and Rosalie so happy.

* * *

I know i haven't updated in so long...I've just been very busy with school and did i mention a serious case of writers block? So yeah, reviwe to leave me some love xox


	6. Ballet and Syringes

**Chapter 6. Ballet and Syringes**

**LPOV**

Staring aimlessly over the rising sun, I blew out the candles that lit my room. It was Saturday morning, barley six a.m. when I decided to actually stand and get ready for the day.

When I reached the living room, I noticed that Mum had a smile on her face. She was looking at my baby photos. Never a dull moment when she didn't have her camera and took some horrendous photo of me bathing, running around in the gardens, playing with mud pies, holding a bunny or shoving food over my face instead of in my mouth.

She was trying. I could see that. There have only been few times when mum seemed to be able to let go of the past, but the second she could she would hesitate and capture them again. It made me cry for her that she could not let go of what truly meant to her. I was never enough.

Mum has never laughed or smiled with me the way she did with dad. I know she loves me, I know she would chose death before losing me but sometimes I wish she would move on and let him go. Who am I to say that though? I have only ever seen pictures of them together and forgotten memories I have stolen from my mother's mind. Yet it would be nice if she could be my mother for once and smiled at me the way she smiled when she was a human.

Before I was turned, she was a bubbly mum, always ready to shop and have tea in the afternoons. They way she looks at me now is not the same. She smiles, but her eyes have always been distant. I know that my resemblance to my father is so strikingly familiar that it hurts her to look at me, like she's seeing him. However, what she never noticed was that she hurt me whenever she pulled back from me because she couldn't deal with remembering him.

I sighed, pulling away from the threshold and sitting on the armrest beside her. She smiled, poking me in the ribs as she pointed at a photo of me sitting in the dirt with fat tears rolling down my face.

"I remember that day so clearly. It was the first and last day of you stepping foot in muddy puddles. You cried so hard, I thought your eye balls would fall out." She laughed as she continued to flip through the pages.

I smiled. "And you learnt to never try and make me play in the dirt again. And by the way, aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" I checked my watch before looking back at her.

"The new doctor started last night, so they changed my schedule. I have the day off and I don't go back till Monday." Sighing, she ran a hand through her short black hair. It was only two days ago that she had the vision of my father before cutting off her hair. Even for a vampire she looked drained of energy.

"Are you okay mum?" My eyes were downcast.

"No." She answered simply but with a sad smile. "But I will be. And you shouldn't be asking me that, I should be asking you. Are you okay Lil?"

"As good as I can be on a Saturday morning with study and rehearsal to do."

"Well, considering I acted like a terrible, insane mother the other night, I was wondering if you would like to blow off study and come to New York with me to look at a few art museums?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Let's have a girls day, just to relax and unwind."

"I'd love to." Mum clapped her hands excitedly. She absolutely _loves_ shopping. She is starting to return to her old ways again, from when she was human.

Mum stood, walking over to the desk in the corner of the room where all my schoolbooks were and tossed me my mobile phone. "And by the way you have thirteen missed calls and eight text messages. Honey, you need to ease up on whatever love potion your giving those Balleroux's at school. They are becoming suicidal over you and that won't be good for your rep."

I laughed as she skipped out of the room.

A few hours later, we were walking around an art museum on the corner of west and 5th. This museum was designed for new creators to display their works and win the year's biggest prize.

As we walk, we came to stand in front of a large red blank painting with a white square in the middle. Both our heads turned to the side.

"So what is it exactly?" I muttered, raising one eyebrow.

"I don't know…it's so…"

"Square?"

"I was going to say bare but square works."

Then onto the next painting, a woman with caramel hair and pale skin stood by it.

"It's fabulous isn't it?" She said.

"It sure is," I said, smiling. She turned and looked at me, her eyes going wide. Gold eyes met gold eyes. My mum tensed beside me and gave the lady a nod. Except the lady didn't move. She kept on staring at me, drinking in my appearance.

"I'm sorry, but have we met? You look so familiar." Her voice was soft and motherly. I looked at mum, her face contorted in confusion.

"I don't think we have." She grabbed my hand and started to pull me away.

"Please pardon my rudeness. My name is Esme Cullen." She said kindly.

"Mary and Lillian Alcott." My mother never gave out our real names to other vampires we just met. She likes to keep us hidden and untraceable.

"Are you living around here? I'm sorry for my intrusion. I just get excited meeting other's like us." She said in a hushed tone as some students walked by us.

"That is fine. We are just passing through from Salem. We are heading south."

"Oh, that's lovely. My family and I just moved here from England."

"Oh that is a wonderful country. If you don't mind, we are on a bit of a tight schedule. So please excuse us." Mum said as she dragged me off.

"Of course."

As soon as we left the museum mum gave me a smile. "I didn't see that one coming." She chuckled. I started laughing with her, clutching my sides and holding onto her shoulder.

This wasn't the first time someone asked us about our life and if we had met before. We learned to laugh it off these days.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's go buy Louboutins." She grabbed my hand and smiled at me. A real smile.

"Let's go." My head only reached her shoulder, so I leaned my head down and wrapped my arm in hers.

"They look gorgeous on you, Lil." Mum said as I walked around in sparkly heel strap louboutins. I did a spin and giggled.

"They sure do. And they make my legs look even hotter." I admired my tiny body that still held a voluptuous curve to them.

"Okay, Lil. Would you like a pair of thigh high boots to match your killer ego?" Mum smirked and stood in her pair of cherry red peep toe Louboutin platforms that showed off her slim figure to higher stakes.

"So funny, _Mary_." I said as I changed into the thigh high boots the sales woman handed me.

"Oh, you're a real comedian, darling. But you should stick to ballet, it suits your personality better." She joked, nudging me with her arm.

"Coming from the woman who thinks she knows everything."

"Like I said, stick to ballet." I laughed at her awful joke.

"Those look divine on you, Miss." The sales woman said to my mother. I laughed at the completely look of aw and jealousy on the woman's face.

"Oh, I know. I'd like to try those on as well." Mum pointed to a grey closed in platform.

"Of course." She shimmied off; obviously trying to pretend her walk was as alluring as ours. However, she failed miserably as she tripped along her way.

"So how about that woman in the gallery? She looked at me as if she knew me." I said, zipping up my boots.

"We get that a lot, darling. Thank god she didn't push further. And as for knowing you, I doubt it. Yet, still creepy."

"She seemed nice enough. You think she might be a threat?"

"Doubt it. We told her we were travelling south. I'm sure there's little chance of ever seeing her again. And if there is, well…we know the drill."

I nodded, standing to admire the revealing tight boots that made my legs look longer. Mum stood beside me in her red heels, smiling at me. Even in high heels, we still looked short like pixies. Yet mum was still just an inch higher.

As the saleswoman came back with the grey platforms mum jumped up and down like a child and took them eagerly. "Oh, these would be great for work." She said, admiring the red sole shoes with fascination. I giggled as my phone buzzed in my handbag.

I looked at the caller ID and smirked. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite boy toy. Don't tell me you miss me, baby." I purred into the phone. The one and only man I wasn't afraid to be myself around was Crispin De La Menz.

"Lily-May Whitlock. Don't talk like a naughty vixen if you expect to not get spanked." I laughed at our playful banter. I looked at my mother who just rolled her eyes at us.

We have known Crispin and his family for about forty years. They lived in Peru and were vampire 'vegetarians' just like us. Even though they lived in Peru, technically his family was from Spain. They just love the Peruvian rainforest. Crispin's mother looked after us when we were running from some rogue vampires who tried to kill us for being 'different.'

Crispin and I always had a relationship that was more friends with benefits if that's what you call it. We would always be great friends, he wanted more but I never trusted anyone with my heart. He understood that and respected me, so he settled for what I could only ever give him and that was my body and not my whole heart. He loved me and I loved him, but for me it was never enough.

"Oh sweetheart, don't tempt me." I said laughing at the growl he gave as I teased him.

"So how's the big city? Last I heard, my mother said you were off to be a ballerina. I must say, my imagination is awfully good at giving me the image of tights and tutus. You up for giving me a demonstration with your new…flexibility?" He said in his alluring and dreamy voice.

"Behave." I muttered as my mother made gagging noises.

"Hello, Alice." He said a little louder through the receiver.

"Hello, Crispin. You finished on tarnishing my daughters innocence yet?" My mother said as she examined her grey heels in the mirror, looking slightly bored at this forty-year-old argument that they tend to continue to this day.

"Not even close. However, I only ask and she never says no. Not my fault." He retorted. I didn't have to see him to know his infamous smirk graced his luscious lips.

"Okay, enough." I said loudly. "And yes, I'm attending a performing arts school and I study ballet. It's been great."

"Well love, I'm glad you're having fun."

"So, I'm glad to be hearing from you but what's the real reason behind your call?"

"What? I can't call my favorite girl just to say 'hello'?"

"Not unless you're missing me…and the sex." I said, without thinking.

"Oh, you wound me, love. Is that all you think I care about you for?" I hinted the sense of hurt behind his words. I felt a little guilty. I know he loves me and wants to be with me. I know that it's hard for him to feel that way and not let me go. It's me who's afraid I'll get my heartbroken and lose what I have with him. So I keep him at arms length, which is wrong, I know, but I need him in my life. He's the only one who knows the real me, he understands me.

"I'm sorry, baby. You know I just love listening to you squirm. You know I love hearing from you."

"That's not all you love about me." He stated. I laughed, knowing full well he was serious.

Crispin was always the man that just has sex appeal all over him. Every woman falls at his feet and he loves it. He shows his appreciation for a beautiful woman but never does he say no to me. It's not in his nature.

"Anyway, I haven't spoken from you in a while and I was, to say the lease, worried."

"Oh, baby. I love you too but you don't need to worry. I'm fine."

"I know, but I do miss you. Planning on coming to Peru anytime soon?"

"Not until school breaks out and it just started. Sorry, honey."

"That's okay, I'll wait."

We continued to talk while I continued to try on shoes while mum disappeared over to the handbags. Crispin and mum had a very neutral friendship. She wanted me to be happy so she put up with my complicated relationship. She didn't agree with it, she wanted Crispin far away from my vagina and heart as possible but she would never admit it out loud. Only because she knows I love him.

"So how are you really doing, baby? Your mum told my mum about what happened at the hospital." Crispin said a little distracted.

"Are you asking because you care or are you just being nosy?" I said, slipping on a pair of strappy stilettos. I looked up to see my mum deciding between two bags.

"Why would you ask me that? I want to know that you're okay, Lily."

"Well I'm fine and you sound distracted." I said a little coldly.

"I'm distracted because I'm looking at an old photo of us and I got sidetracked, realizing how much I miss you." I could tell he really was sincere.

"I miss you too."

"Then come home to Peru. I want to see you."

"I can't Crispin. Please understand."

"I do understand Lily. I have understood your reasons for leaving me every five years when you start to realize how much you really want to stay with me!" He growled into the phone.

A choked sob ran through me. "Please, Crispin. Don't do this now, not again. I'm sorry." I said and hung up. A moment later my phone buzzed with a text message.

I'm sorry too. Call you soon. -C

I took a deep breath and put my phone into my pocket.

Looking around, there was a pair of teenage girls on the other couch trying on shoes. They barely looked sixteen. From the looks of their clothes, I figured they were elite Upper Manhattan students. The beautiful redhead looked at me and smiled as our eyes connected. I smiled back as her friend walked in front of me wearing hot pink pumps.

"What do you think, Colby? I think they look hot! Of course not with red tights but they will look amazing." The lanky Blonde girl said as she posed in the mirror.

Colby, the redhead smiled. "They look fabulous on you, Leigh." She picked up a pair of red heels and started putting them on.

Leigh squealed. "I know, right?"

Colby maybe a redhead, but she is absolutely gorgeous, although insecure. She was wearing a cream coat with a white blouse and black knitted sweater showing. Her tights were charcoal grey and her ballet flats were black leather. She had good fashion sense considering she was in her school uniform from the plaid skirt showing.

My gaze turned to Leigh. Her pink coat was thrown on the couch messily, which left her in a white blouse and black knitted sweater. Her plaid skirt was far to short and her red tights complimented her nicely. She was pretty in way of excessive makeup and bleached hair that looked dead from continuous straightening.

I looked over at Colby to see her looking at the purple pumps beside me. When she noticed me looking at her, she looked away like a dear caught in headlights. I stood in the strappy stilettos and walked over to Colby.

"Try them on, sweetie." I said as I handed her the shoes. She took them hesitantly.

"No, I couldn't. Aren't they yours?" She said barely audibly.

"Trust me." I said. Leigh walked over and I saw her eyeing them.

"No, it's okay. Really." She mumbled shoving the shoes back in my hands.

"Try them on, Colby. Come on, you never buy yourself anything." Leigh said behind me.

"Okay." She relented and put the shoes on.

"I told you they would look great." I said as I went back to my spot on the couch. I handed the saleslady the few pairs of shoes I had chosen.

I met mum at the counter and we paid for our things.

"So, was that a fight I heard between you and Crispin?" She asked pulling out her credit card.

"Don't say it."

"I didn't say anything." She mumbled, grabbing our bags. I sighed and left it there.

On the way out I winked at Colby and Leigh as I walked out the door.

_Monday._

I was running around the house looking for my other ballet slipper. Mum was sitting on the couch, watching me in amusement.

I looked under the desk and on the desk, pushing books around. I sighed, frustrated. Mum knew where it was but she refuses to tell. This is her way of teaching me a lesson to put all my stuff away.

"Seriously mother, just tell me where it is? I'm going to be late for school. And you will be late for work." I huffed. She rolled on the couch cushions laughing like a child.

"Mother!"

"Well, if you learned to put your things away, you wouldn't be in this predicament now would you darling?"

She stood, taking her coffee mug with her. I gaped at her and threw a crunched up piece of paper at her.

She poked her head out from the kitchen. "Look in your room. It's in your dresser drawer. How it got there is beyond me."

I ran upstairs and found it right where she said it was.

"Bye honey. I better get to the hospital. Have a great day, I'll see you tomorrow morning." She yelled from the door.

"Bye mummy!" I yelled back.

As soon as I had my bag packed I got in my little silver convertible and settled into the one-hour drive to school.

**APOV**

When I arrived at the hospital, everything was calm and quiet. I quickly put on my scrubs and took off my wedding rings. I went to the nurse's station and grabbed my clipboards of all my patients.

"Morning Alice." Marge greeted me.

"Morning Marge. Been busy this morning?" I asked as I signed some clipboards.

"Surprisingly no. The new doctor is wonders here. And might I add, completely dashing and charming. Have you had the chance to meet him yet?" She said wistfully.

"No, not yet but I'm sure I will soon. Any word of Mrs. Bronx?"

"Yes. She made a full recovery and she was discharged yesterday morning."

"Oh good. So what floor am I needed on today?" I asked mostly to myself.

Marge looked down at her desk as she picked up the receptionist phone. "Floor two."

"Thanks." I walked off with clipboards in hand.

Doctor Billson caught up with me on the elevator. He smiled kindly and hit floor five.

"Nurse Whitlock. How was your weekend?"

With looking up from my clipboards I replied. "Good thank you. And yours?"

"Boring. As always."

"Well, try taking up a hobby." I said signing off my name on the clipboard as the doors dinged opened.

"By any chance are you free tomorrow night-"

"No." I stated and walked out of the elevator. The amount of times he's asked me out it totaled to twelve. He obviously doesn't understand the word no and that I'm still technically married. Asshole.

I checked my first patient.

_Male._

_28._

_Car Accident._

"Good morning Mr. Roberts." I said as I walked in and checked his IV.

"Morning." He said drowsily. "You're to hot to be a doctor."

I laughed. "I'm a nurse, Mr. Roberts. How are those pain meds going?"

"That old hag won't give me anymore and I'm in pain. Fuck!" He hissed as he tried to move his broken leg around the sling.

I froze.

_"Give me some fucking meds bitch. I'm dying here. It all hurts like a motherfucker!"_

_Mr. Roberts screamed at Nurse Close. He began throwing his breakfast tray around she just placed in front of him. His face was red from screaming and pain._

I came out of my vision and looked at Mr. Roberts who was closing his eyes in pain. To prevent that happening, I figured giving him something now would be better than him trashing his private room.

"Well, how about I give you something now to last for a little why until the doctor says otherwise." I said and he agreed. Filling a syringe with morphine, I stuck it into his IV and watched as he started drifting off to sleep.

I waited a few minutes to check his vitals and he seemed okay. Signing the morphine into his information I left his room. Walking down the hall I arrived at room 217 and walked through.

A young female, no more than 16 was lying in bed, hands lying across her stomach and tear leaks down her cheeks. Her light brown hair was tied up in a knot above her head and she looked awfully pale and thin. She was alone and I looked down at my clipboard, seeing no family or visitors checked in to see her.

"Hello? I'm Nurse Alice Whitlock."

The young girl turned to me and gave a weak smile.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked as I picked up her clipboard at the end of her bed. I almost dropped the board.

_16. It's her birthday today._

_Delivered eight-pound baby girl yesterday morning._

_No family recorded._

_Adoption._

"Are you required to ask that question or do you actually care?" She asked as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. What's your name?" I knew her name, but she from the looks of her, she just needed to talk to someone.

"Clare Mercer."

"And where's your family Clare?"

"Why do you care?" She snapped. "I'm sorry. It's just been a rough nine months."

"I understand. It's okay. But really Clare, are you okay? Having a baby isn't easy. I would know. I care Clare, talk to me." I sat down beside her and she started sobbing. I gabbed her hand as she started to talk.

"My parents are up in the Hamptons. My mother didn't want to have anything to do with me unless I got rid of my baby. She said I was a disgrace to the family and that I shouldn't bother coming back."

"And your father?"

"He's not much of a father. I've spoken two words to him in my entire life."

"What about the father of your baby?"

"His parents freaked out when he told them and sent him off to military school. I didn't even get to say goodbye. They refuse to acknowledge me, so what does it matter."

"I know it's non of my business. Did you love him?"

"Yes. Scott is a good guy; he said he would be there for me no matter what. Being sixteen he got no choice in leaving. He felt horrible but he managers to write me." She smiled a little.

"Does he know you just gave birth?"

"I called him last night. He's ecstatic but his parents won't let him come home. They want him to forget me and forget our baby. He can't come home." She cried harder.

"Why have you chosen adoption? Don't you have somewhere, a home to stay in too raise her?"

"I love Maggie, so much. Which is why I can't keep her. I've been staying with my best friend. Her parents are never home but I can't impose like that. She's letting me stay there at least. I don't want to give her up but I'm only...16. I will fail her as a mother. I don't know how to raise a kid and I have no money, no home, no nothing to support her." She sobbed and I handed her a tissue.

"What did Scott say about it?"

"He was torn up but he understands. We both want to keep Maggie, but we both know it won't work. Do you know if someone has adopted her yet?" She asked and her eyes locked with mine.

I looked down at her clipboard. Nothing was noted. "I'm sorry, I don't know."

She sat back and sniffled. "I've never been able to talk about it. Thank you."

"You know, you remind me of me."

"Really? How?"

I smiled. "My husband joined the army not long after we were married. He never got to meet our daughter. He died over in England." At least that was what the letter had told me.

"I'm so sorry. Here I am babbling about my problems when-"

"Shh, it's okay Clare. I had my time to grieve and grow up. Anyway, our daughter Lily-May she never knew him."

"How old is she?"

"Old enough to understand why her daddy isn't coming home. Why did you name her Maggie?"

"It was my grandmother's name. She was always there for me growing up. She acted like more of a mother than my own mother. She past away two years ago."

"I'm sorry. I think it's a beautiful name though." I looked down at my watch.

"Thank you."

"Look, I'm going to go check on one more patient and I'll be back and we can talk some more."

"Okay." I lightly squeezed her hand before getting up and leaving. I checked on my patient in room 219 and found him sound asleep. I signed off the clipboard and left him to sleep.

I went down to the maternity ward and asked about Maggie Mercer.

"Shawna, has a Maggie Mercer, a newborn been adopted out yet?" I asked the volunteer receptionist. Figuring if I gave my stone cold scary look, I can frighten her into telling me. She appeared frazzled when she looked over at me, shrinking back in slight fear.

_I still got it._

She looked down at her files and typed something into the computer. "No she hasn't."

"Good. I would like to take her to see her mother."

"I'm sorry Nurse Whitlock, but Maggie Mercer is up for adoption. Miss Mercer has already signed the papers." I raised an eyebrow and the bleach blonde Barbie sat back in fright.

I sighed. And then the next thing surprised me. "She's not giving up her baby. She changed her mind." I said and walked into the room where the newborn babies were kept. She's smart and didn't follow me. I'll give her that.

I rolled Maggie's little bed into Clare's room. She sat up surprised and started crying again. I handed Maggie over to her.

I sat down beside her. "She's your daughter, Clare. She deserves to have her mother."

"But I have nowhere to go, I can't…" she trailed off, holding her daughters hand.

"Yes you can. I have an apartment up in New York where you can stay. I've already called my cousin and she's taking care of it. You can stay there rent free on one condition."

She smiled, relishing in what she was hearing. "What condition?"

"You take good care of Maggie. My cousin works as a ballet dancer in New York so she's there most days of the week. She can teach you the general basics."

"Why are you helping me?" Even though she was crying, she looked happy.

"I was like you once, scared and alone. It's hard and you shouldn't have to do it on your own like I had to. You are far much younger than when I had my daughter. You're going to be okay Clare."

"Thank you so much. How ever can I repay you?"

"This isn't some sort of charity or hand out Clare. I don't need you to repay me." I smiled. "You can stay as long as you need to and when Scott comes home, you two can figure out things from there."

"I appreciate everything. I really do."

"I know Clare. You don't tip me as the kind of girl who takes things for granted. Your not selfish or stuck up. You are kind and innocent. You seem like a good kid and I admire it. I'm sure everything will work out. And at any point you need to talk or need help you call me." I smiled, gushing when I looked down at Maggie.

"Okay, I will." She looked down at Maggie and smiled brightly. "I love you Maggie." She whispered and lightly kissed the top of her head.

I smiled. "I'll be back in the morning for when you'll be discharged and my cousin, Lillian will drive you and Maggie to New York."

She nodded and gave a watery smile. "Thank you so much."

"You should give Scott a call." I said and left the room.

I carried on throughout the day as normal, feeling happy about Clare and Maggie. I had no worries; they were going to be okay.

"Thank you, sweetie." I said and hung up my phone. I just finished talking to Lily-May about my plans with Clare and Maggie and she was fully on board. She was going to spend the night in New York to shop and get the apartment ready for Clare and Maggie. Lily-May loves babies and she can't wait to meet them.

Standing at the nurse's station I heard Doctor Billson walking over with another man beside him.

"Alice?" I looked up and saw Doctor Billson and a blonde haired, golden eyed charming man.

"Yes." I said putting down my coffee cup.

"Alice, this is the new Doctor, Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle this is Alice Whitlock our leading nurse. In fact she's better than most doctors here." He chuckled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Nurse Whitlock." He stuck out his hand and I shook it. I couldn't believe it, he was a vampire. I composed myself and stood tall. His hand was strong like granite, like mine. I smiled kindly. "I have heard many great things about you."

"Same here." I said. James's pager went off and he excused himself. Gold eyes stared at gold eyes. "Vegetarian?"

"Yes. Family?"

"Yes. One daughter. You?"

"Six, including my wife and adopted children. We won't bring you any trouble. Where do you reside?"

"The outskirts of town, a cottage out by the river."

"We are on the opposite side." It was like watching a tennis match, the ball in each courted quickly reciprecated.

"Well, Doctor Cullen it is was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to working with you."

"Same here, Nurse Whitlock." He gave a curt nod and walked off.

I turned back to my papers and my coffee.

"Told you he was charming, didn't I?" Marge said, her eyes following Doctor Cullen.

I chuckled and went back to work.

This is just great, another vampire coven in town. Lily-may was going to love that. I guess I should warn her about Carlisle's family being close by. I'm sure neither our families were a threat.

Today was turning out to be an interesting day.

Later that night, the hospital was quiet and I bumped into Doctor Cullen only once while a patient lost it and I shot him with a syringe to calm him down.

I walked up to the second floor to check on Clare when I heard yelling coming from the receptionist at the maternity ward. I ventured down and to see what was going on.

"I just want to see my girlfriend and my baby!" A strong voice yelled.

I looked up and saw a young boy who was built and wearing a military uniform. He looked tired and his burgundy hair was in every direction from continuously running his hands through it repeatedly. "Excuse me are you Scott?" I piped up.

His headshot up over to me "Yes. Do you know Clare? Is she okay? Is Maggie okay? Are they still here?"

I smiled. He made it. "Yes, they are both okay. I'm sure they will want to see you. Follow me." He eagerly caught up to me and followed behind me.

We reached her room and I poked my head in through the door. Clare was almost asleep with Maggie at the end of her bed snoozing. She looked up when she saw me. "Hello, Clare. I think there's someone here who wants to see you and Maggie."

She looked confused for a moment, until I let Scott in behind me. She smiled brightly as he ran into the room and hugged her tightly. I looked on for a moment watching them kiss and hug and to see Scott hold his daughter for the first time. I left, letting them have their moment.

I smiled.


	7. Hawaii

**Chapter 7. Hawaii**

"Oh my, she is absolutely gorgeous." Lily-May gushed as she wheeled in a chair for Clare.

"Thank you." Clare gushed as she sat on the edge of her bed, cradling Maggie in her arms. Scott stood beside her, ready to take Maggie.

"Clare, Scott, this is Lillian. She'll be driving you three to New York and help you get situated. Everything has been taken care of."

"Thank you again for everything. Really, it means so much." Scott said, shaking my hand.

"So have you spoken to your parents, Scott?" I asked.

"Yeah, last night. I told them I was a father and that I wasn't returning to the military. They were pissed, but they can't do anything." He said. At first impression, you would think he was some sort of airhead jock, but he wasn't. He was kind and caring and obviously loved Clare and Maggie.

"I'm glad." I said and signed off on the discharge papers. "Your both going to be okay."

"The car is out front and a baby seat in the back." Lily-May said, smiling widely.

Lily-May helped Clare stand up and sit down in the wheel chair. She pushed her out the door with Scott holding Maggie as they exited the hospital.

Lily-May held Maggie as Scott helped Clare into the backseat of the car. It was a loving picture of the two.

"I'll be back in a few hours then," Lily-May said. She smiled down at Maggie who was fast asleep.

"Okay, meet me at the café and we can have coffee." I said.

"Okay, will do. Bye Alice." She winked.

"Bye." I giggled waved goodbye to them. I shoved my hands into the coat and walked back into the hospital.

At the receptionist, Dr. Cullen handed me a few charts.

"That was a great thing you did for Clare." He said. I smiled knowing he helped deliver her baby for her on his first night at the hospital.

"She just needed help. Help that I could give her." Looking down at the charts, I scribble some things on them and placed them on the bench.

"Was that your daughter? The tall blonde?" He asked curiously.

"Yes. Lily-May." I said quietly.

"I can see the resemblance. She looks just like you."

"She looks like her father." I smiled and looked down.

"He's not around, what happened to him?" He asked, signing off on his last chart.

A took in a deep breath of air. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. Shall we go to my office? I think if we knew more about one another's families, it won't cause such a stir if we run into each other while feeding."

"Of course. Why not?"

He led the way to his office. I sat down in a large black chair across from him.

"He died in World War 2. At the same time I was pregnant. After Lily was born, a vampire changed me." I said.

"I'm very sorry for your husband. Why would the vampire do that to you?" He leaned back in his chair and studied me.

"I don't know, she was some crazy rogue who wanted my help in building a coven. Apparently it was revenge on some coven that killed her mate, Laurent. I refused, she threatened to kill Lily so I killed her."

"Laurent?" He blinked and seemed awfully shocked to hear the name.

"Yes."

"Was her name Victoria?"

I leaned back in my chair. "How do you know that name?"

He shook his head. "I think we have more in common than we think. Victoria and Laurent were after my adopted daughter, Bella, during our time in Memphis. Laurent saw something he liked and that led to Bella's husband Edward killing Laurent. Victoria ran off and we never saw her again. I guess we have you to thank for that."

"Small world."

"Would you be up for meeting my family tomorrow evening?" He asked.

I looked down and fiddled with the hem of my purple scrubs. "I haven't told my daughter yet. She doesn't do well with new covens. But I will let you know."

~(~)~

A few hours later, Lily-May walked into the café and sat down beside me.

"How was it?"

"Yeah great. Maggie wasn't too fussy on the way and they love the apartment. Scott spoke to his grandparents on the way there and they are one hundred percent supporting both him, Clare and Maggie. They are going to stay at the apartment to get used to things and then they will sit down with Scott's grandparents and talk about living arrangements with them. Scott's grandmother is really excited to meet Maggie." Lily-May gushed, accepting her coffee I passed to her.

"Really?"

"Yeah, apparently Scott's grandparents wanted Clare to come and stay with them the whole time Scott was at Military school but his parents refused their interference. They are going to visit them in a few days to organize everything. And they are letting Scott have his trust fund early."

"Wow, that's amazing." I smiled brightly.

"Maggie is so cute. I want a baby." She whined as always when she saw a baby.

"One day, sweetie, one day." I said, drinking my coffee. The hot liquid burned my throat, but I accepted the pain. It felt good, not feeling the bloodlust for those few moments.

"You think Crispin would give me one." She laughed.

"I'm sure he wouldn't say no." I mumbled and she stuck her tongue out at me.

We chatted for a while about Clare and Scott and the hospital. The café was very quiet and no one bothered as we lounged back into our chairs with our lattes. Just as I was about to mention the new doctor at the hospital Lily asked me something I didn't expect.

"Mum? Why did you decide to go into nursing? Why didn't you become a doctor instead?" Lily-May asked me over coffee.

I sighed, thinking about what to say. "Back before I married your father I went into nursing after high school because I wanted to help people. Most women only became nurses back then. While your father worked I studied to be a nurse. After we married, I put it on hold. Then your father was called to duty. I knew it was a slim chance, but then next day I enrolled my services into the army hoping I might see your father."

"I remember. You had to go to Hawaii. A few weeks later, Pearl Harbor was bombed."

_**Hawaii, December 7,**__**1941 **_

I was disinfecting scalpels when I heard a whistle screaming throughout the hospital. Dropping the sharp silver, I ran out to the hallway and saw all nurses and doctors running to the entrance.

"_What's going on?" I asked Patricia as she ran by me._

"_The Japanese have bombed Pearl Harbor. All the wounded soldiers are here." She said as I followed her. We ran out the doors to see the entire front entrance crowed with wounded soldiers._

_Nurses and doctors moved forward, advancing to any soldier in need of immediate medical assistance. A stretcher went by me with a man missing his arms and legs, screaming in agony._

_I gasped, and my hand fell to my stomach at the sight of the men. Bile rose up in my throat, my stomach clenching at the smell of rustic blood and sweat._

"_Jasper!" I yelled running around to see any man with the slightest resemblance. _

"_Jasper!"_

"_Jasper!"_

_Running over to an injured blonde man, I moved his hair out of his face. I gasped. It wasn't Jasper and I was grateful but half this man's face was all burned and tarnished with black coal smudges._

_I stepped back to inspect some other soldiers. I closed my eyes, trying to see who needed the most help, all the while praying Jasper was okay._

"_Alice, over here!" I heard Caroline shout. I opened my eyes searching for the man with a red scarf covering a leg wound._

"_What should I do?" Caroline shrieked, obviously freaking out. "Oh god…"_

_I looked over at the many soldiers needing medical assistance._

_I placed both my hands on her shoulders and forced her to look at me. "Okay, what I need you to do is find any men with an injury that they will only need morphine to disperse the pain." She started shaking her head. "Caroline, listen to me! Leave them and we'll get to them later. Help the doctors inside after that, I'll take care of the rest out here. Hurry!" _

_Caroline scattered off, and dosed soldiers with morphine._

"_We need more morphine!"_

"_Over here! I need some assistance."  
_

"_Take him to the critical unit!"_

"_Help! Please!"_

"_Nurse, over here!"_

"_Doctor, what do you need?"_

"_Help me!"_

"_Move him to the back wing!"_

"_Keep them moving into the hospital. Through the kitchen and into the left wing!"_

_The loud sound of ambulance and man's cries filled the hospital. It was complete blood shed. I could hear the bombing in the background._

_I ran outside, running past the front entrance and looked over all the wounded soldiers. Men were coming in from down the street, filing in anywhere they could manage to go. _

_A loud bustling noise roared over me and I looked up to see the Japanese planes fly over the hospital. I gasped and ran behind an ambulance as they let out bullets and bombs. _

_After the initial shock, most men were dead outside either from being bombed or shot. I choked at the sight. By the time the Japanese had left, Pearl Harbor was gone._

_After sedating a young man I walked out, finding a group a soldiers out front of the hospital._

"_What can we do to help?" A man with dark hair with smudges of blood and black coal on his face._

_I nodded. "Follow me."_

_Walking through the crowded and almost destroyed hospital, I assigned them where to go. There was well over fifty and they would be of great help._

"_I need some of you to give blood." I appointed twelve men and they left. "The doctors need help, find any doctor or nurse and assist them."_

_At the end of the night, I helped moved the soldiers who didn't make it. Whenever I saw a blonde male, I would freeze and pray it wasn't my husband. A sigh of relief would escape me until the next body came. _

_That night I went home and cried until I fell asleep. _

"Were you scared?"

"Like hell. I had never seen anything like it. The movie Pearl Harbor is nothing what we went through that day. I was glad that in a way I didn't see your father that day. I new he was still alive."

"I can't even imagine."

"You were there, just not born yet." I said.

"Oh yeah, you were pregnant with me."

I nodded. "It was about two weeks after Pearl Harbor that I found out I was pregnant. And a week later I got the letter in the mail about your dad."

"If I never existed, what would you have done?"

"I don't know, Lil. It was tough but because I knew I still had apart of Jasper with me, it made me realize I had something great to live for. You."

She smiled.

"For 19 years, I had you to look after. It made me smile. I was so happy and bubbly for so long. That's what you remember from when you were human. And when I saw you lying in that hospital bed on the brink of death, it killed me. I couldn't lose you like I lost Jasper. After I turned you, I realized you didn't need me as much anymore. You could defend your self; we are top of the food chain after all. However, it made me sad that I knew one day you would find someone to love and I would spend eternity alone." I stopped and took a deep breath. Looking down at my coffee, I added more sugar.

"And then you met Crispin. I knew from the moment you two met you would fall in love. The way he looks at you is the way your father looked at me."

"He does love me, doesn't he?"

"Honey, he's _in_ love with you. Every five years he asks me for permission to marry you."

"I thought you hated Crispin. Why every five years?"

"Oh honey. Every five years he asks you to marry him and you always say no. I never hated him, yes I was afraid he would break your heart but I know how special he is to you and to have him in your life. I want you to choose him. He can take care of you."

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I can't lose you mum. Not like I lost dad. I just feel that if I stay with Crispin, I'll get bored in Peru. There are still places I'd like to go and things I want to accomplish."

"If you love him enough to marry him, you won't get bored. He treats you like his queen, he would go anywhere with you."

"I know. You and I have been to more places than people go in a lifetime. But he's an Original, he won't leave Peru."

"Exactly. You grew up without a father to tell you that you couldn't date boys till you were eighteen or that you couldn't go out on a school night. Even not being able to go to a party unless you were chaperoned. I never set ground rules because I was afraid that the tighter I held on the further you would pull away."

"In modern terms, I have daddy issues." She chuckled, sipping her coffee.

"That's why you were never able to stay with Crispin. You were afraid of losing me and also for your relationship turning out like your father's and mine had. Whenever I saw you two together, it made me think of Jasper. The moments we had only became stolen memories. I miss him and it made me jealous but also happy to see you in love. It was all I ever wanted for you."

She smiled. "Thanks mum."

I sighed and leaned over the table, crossing my elbows. "So I have something to tell you?"

"Oh, what is it?"

I didn't raise emotion as I looked at her. "The new doctor at the hospital is a vampire."

She froze in her seat. "What?"

"He just came to town with his family. They want to meet us."

The last few times we've met covens were never good. They always tried to kill us because they disapproved of our lifestyle. They were mostly rogues but nonetheless it never ended well. Crispin's coven was the only ones we trusted. Lily-May was always so frightened to meet new vampires.

"Do they feed on humans?" She looked away, fidgeting with a sugar packet. She was hiding something. I know because that was the same thing Jasper would do.

I shook my head. "No. They feed on animals, like us."

"Okay. How many of them are they?" I notice her hands shaking.

"Honey, calm down. It's okay. There's his wife and five adopted children."

"Okay. Children?" Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Adults, but they were merely your age when they were turned. They act like siblings with Carlisle and his wife are the parents. Are you sure your okay with that?" I grabbed her hand in mine.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I'll be fine."

We both knew she was trying to convince herself more than me.


	8. Cosmic Love

**Chapter 8. Cosmic Love**

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

I tried to find the sound

But then, it stopped, and I was in the darkness,

So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out

You left me in the dark

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight

In the shadow of your heart

-Cosmic Love; Florence and The Machine

**LPOV**

Sitting in a café with my books scattered on the table and my coffee in front of me cold and untouched. I wallowed in my own way.

The café wasn't very busy but a lot of students from the school were here studying and hanging out with friends. I took no notice. I could hear the coffee machine going and the sound of the cash register opening and closing. My gaze was focused on the photo in front of me, a photo of my father. The only photo I owned of him from his younger years that my mother gave me when I was fifteen.

The chime of the door rang and I felt the sense of someone looking at me. Looking up I slowly tore my gaze away from my father and met a pair of gold eyes. They belonged to a young beautiful brunette standing by the counter. At once I knew she was a vampire.

The door chimed again and another younger looking vampire walked in to join the brunette. She had long honey blonde hair and was very tall and was absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

The two beautiful looking girl's stopped and looked over at me. They gave a slight nod and went on their way to a table in the corner. I looked back to the photo in front of me.

If crying were possible I would have. The sad feelings washed over me multiply times but for some reason today hit a lot worst.

Closing my eyes briefly, I packed up my things quickly. I slipped the photo of dad back into my wallet and walked stiffly over to the exit. I glanced a look at the young vampire's in the back to see them staring back at me with a confused gaze. Gulping, I shuffled out of the door, accidentally knocking some blonde guy on my way out.

"Excuse me, sorry!" I shouted, without looking over my shoulder.

"That's okay, Ma'am." I deep voice uttered. "Ma'am? You dropped something-" I didn't bother listening to him.

My throat dry sobbed as I felt an ache in my chest. Swiftly jumping into my car I dumped my stuff in the back seat and sat in the driver's seat. As I sat I turned on some music and let soft classical music filter through the car. It was the song played at my parents wedding, my favourite song. I shook my head as my fist bashed against the steering wheel, my mind losing all focus. I missed my father more than anything. Both mum and I needed him but that was inevitable.

Shifting my blurry gaze upwards I saw those two beautiful vampire's walking out of the café with three men holding some shopping bags. But I looked away as quick as I had looked.

I sped out of the parking lot and drove down the lane feeling absolutely nothing.

When I arrived at school, Penn met me by the front doors.

"Hey Lily." She said, smiling brightly.

"Hey," I said flatly. She linked her arm with mine and we took off for class.

"You feeling okay?" She asked as we walked to our first class.

"Yeah I just think I'm coming down with something." I rubbed my forehead, feigning illness. She bought it as she gave me an apologetic smile and began talking about some party this weekend. I zoned out, nodding at the appropriate times and pretended I was in the conversation.

As we walked by the auditorium, I noticed a class inside already. We stopped to look.

A young brunette was leading in a routine of Pas de Daux. She moved swiftly and lightly, looking like she could float on air. I stood stunned, not tearing my gaze away.

"Who is that?" I asked. She was am amazing dancer. I couldn't believe it.

"Odette von Strom." Penn said icily. I could feel her tense beside me and breathe heavily.

I looked over at Penn, and touched her arm. I saw a memory of Odette laughing at Penn in the lunch hall. Penn had been knocked to the ground with her spilled lunch all over her that Odette had been the cause of. I scowled at the image of Odette.

I blinked, and smiled sadly at Penn. "She's a terrible dancer."

That made Penn laugh and we carried on our way. I could tell there was history between Penn and Odette but I let it rest there.

"There's a party tonight at Kingston's penthouse. Want to be my wing girl?" Penn giggled. For a moment, I felt excited. A party? It would be fun. Would mum say yes? Probably not.

I thought about it. I have never been to a high school party before. Let alone with friends. _Friends. _I haven't had friends since I was human. Even then it wasn't many.

"Sure. What time?"

"I'll meet you there at nine?" She suggested, sitting her bags down.

"Perfect." I slid to the floor and took off my boots. The flow of tired students filled the ballet room as I put on my ballet slippers.

We warmed up and stretched our muscles before the teacher walked in.

As the teacher directed us, I thought about this afternoon. Mum and I were going to meet the Cullen family. I cringed slightly. Before I knew it, class had ended and I was the only one left in the room. I packed up my things, threw on my black jacket and scarf and left school.

I met up with mum in the nearby forest as she thought it best to feed before the upcoming event with the Cullen's. She insisted we hunt before she headed to work and me to the party, just as precaution. I was going meet them then escape to school for a class then head to the party.

I moved my head from side to side as I jumped down from a tree and scouted quietly for a deer.

"Who are you?" A voice came from behind me.

I turned seeing a tall stunning blonde woman. Her features were absolutely beautiful, except for the weary frown on her face. It was the same woman from the café. I was about to run, when she stood in my way and knocked me to the ground by accidental force. I let out a loud scream from shock.

**APOV**

A loud scream tore me away from the deer lying limp in my arms as I near drank it to death. I crouched into a stance after breaking the deer's neck to stop its suffering.

"Stay away from me!" Lily-May screamed. I froze and stopped breathing.

"Who are you? A rogue?" A loud cunning voice bellowed.

"Do I look like a rogue, in these boots? Don't come near me." Lily-May scowled.

I closed my eyes and ran into the distance I heard them. I found them, squaring off with a dead deer in the middle of them. The other unknown vampire was tall, stunning and blonde, with nails like claws.

"Come near me and I'll rip off your head!" Lily-May shouted again and backed into a tree.

"Likewise daddy's girl." The feminine voice taunted and lunged for Lily-May. Lily-May grabbed the other girl into a headlock and threw her into a tree, causing the forest to rumble.

"Stay away from my daughter!" I yelled, raising myself on the tree trunk I was situated from. The blonde looked up and shrank back. Not from fright but from being outnumbered.

"Emmett!" The blonde woman screamed and the sound like rhino's running through the forest came barrelling threw.

"Rosie!" The dark haired burly man exclaimed. He stopped short, seeing the blonde stand grotesque and lunged for my daughter.

"Lily-May! Run!" I screamed from above.

Lily-May looked up then over at the large man before breaking into a sprint.

"Don't you dare touch her!" I jumped down on top of the man, Emmett, knocking him to the ground. I heard more running from behind me and I began following Lily-May's footsteps.

"Mum?" I heard her yell back, her voice in panic.

"Keep running, baby!" I said while I felt someone knock me to the ground. We stumble when I lost footing, prepared to kill if I had to. Baring my razor sharp pearly whites, I snarled trying to bite the vampire on top of me.

I froze. _What the-?_

It couldn't be him. I was seeing things. He was _dead_. Wasn't he?

When I saw his face, my body shut down. He chained my hands on either side of my head, holding me in a death grip.

"Oh my god! Jasper?" I whispered. Noticing me, he stopped and stood immediately, taking me with him.

"Alice…" He muttered barely audible. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the other vampire's surrounding us with a few extra members. I heard Lily-May move behind me.

"Your alive? They told me you died." I reached up to touch his cheek. He grabbed it and held it still, closing his hand around mine.

"Cynthia said you were murdered. You both went missing. I saw our gravestones in Mansfield." He moved his free hand to the other side of my face, kneeling to my height.

"Your alive." I smiled and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"Alice. My love." He whispered swearing to never let her go again.

Then I remembered. "Lily-May." I turned around to see Lily-May retreating back. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Lily-May?" Jasper whispered looking up with a smile forming on his face.

Lily-May shakes her head. "No. No. No." She jumped up onto a tree, pacing back and forth. She turned and ran into the direction of our house.

"Lily!" I shouted. I turned back to Jasper. "I'm sorry, I have to go after her."

"I'll follow you." He grabbed my hand as we sped after her.

"Lily-May, stop!" I shouted.

When we reached the cottage, the blur of Lily-May running up the stairs frightened me. Both Jasper and I stopped at the doorway hearing the upstairs door slam with so much force it came off the hinges.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head, hearing Lily-May scream profanities in Spanish.

I slowly walked up the stairs as the Cullen's appeared at the foot of my front door. Jasper followed me up, and ducked when a shoe went flying out the door.

"Ese hijo de puta! Esta vez todo estaba vivo! Joder, odio esto. Mierda. Fuck. ¿Dónde están mis zapatillas de ballet? Mierda Muerto. Esa perra rubia tonta era una vaca total. ¿Por qué demonios iba a estar con un aquelarre como los pendejos? Si tiene otro compañero, voy a castrar a sus bolas fuera y hacer que los comen!" She screamed from inside her room.

"Lily?" I asked.

She appeared by the door with her school bags by her feet.

"¿Qué?" She asked innocently.

I sighed. "Cariño, ¿qué está pasando? Tu padre está vivo, de pie a un metro de ti. ¿Y por qué estamos hablando en español?"

"Soy consciente de la presencia de mi padre. Mi pregunta es ¿dónde demonios estaba en los últimos 67 años? ¿Dónde estaba? " She growled angrily and smashed her fist into the wall beside her. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Veo que estás enojado y yo estoy seguro de que tiene una explicación para lo sucedido. Baja las escaleras y podemos hablar de esto, ¿de acuerdo?"

"¿Qué sentido tiene, mamá? Obviamente, él tiene otra familia. No quiero hablar de esto!" Lily-May balled her hands into fists and bared her pearly white teeth.

"Así que vas a hacerme jugar la carta de la madre, ¿verdad?"

"Fuera de mi camino, madre!" She yelled and walked past me.

"Dime Lily. ¿Por qué no está contento con esto?" I asked, following her down the stairs.

Lily-May stopped at the bottom of the stairs and whirled around. I stood one step above her but I knew Jasper was still on the top landing of the stairs looking down at us. "¿Por qué no soy feliz? Tal vez sea porque los últimos sesenta y siete años que ha sido un zombi caminando. ¿No siquiera mirar por nosotros? ¿Qué importa más? Él es mi padre y yo no sé qué hacer. Después de todo lo que hemos vivido, él no estaba allí cuando él podría haber sido. Mire a su alrededor Mamá, ¿por qué crees que estoy loco? ¿Por qué crees que no puedo aceptar esto lo más rápido posible? No sé qué pensar , o cómo decir incluso nada con él? Esto no es una película, no hay cuento de hadas que termina mierda mierda! "

"Lily..."

"I have class, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She muttered and walked into the garage. I quick vision saw her talking to Crispin on the phone.

"Don't you dare go to him, Lily!" I screamed after her.

I watched as she didn't even spare a glance at Jasper or the Cullen's. The squeal of her tyres was heard down the road.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything as he pulled out a picture from his jacket pocket and handed it to me. It was the picture I had given to Lily many years ago.

"I thought she looked familiar. She ran out of the café this morning, and this fell from her things. When I noticed it was a picture of me, I couldn't piece it at first. Guess I know now. What happened Alice?"

Looking at him then to the Cullen's I sighed and went to the living room. "I guess we should sit down first."

Jasper sat beside me and grabbed my hand. The Cullen's filed in around the room; taking seats with their significant others.

"Alice, these people took me in after my time in the war. Of course, you've met Carlisle and that is his wife Esme." He looked over to Carlisle and the caramel haired beauty beside him. She looked so motherly and kind as she smiled at me. "Then there's Emmett and Rosalie, who you've already met." I couldn't help the unkind scowl that left my lips as I looked at the stunning blonde woman and the dark curly haired bulky guy. "And then there is Bella and Edward. Bella was the one who changed me."

I looked over at Bella and nodded. "He always talked about you Alice. But he was dying and I thought changing him would give you both a second chance. Your story reminded me of mine and Edward's." She smiled and looked over at Edward as he kissed her forehead.

"Alice?" Jasper called my name. "What happened to you? Where did you go?"

I nodded before looking him in the eye. "A few days after you left, I went back to work. The hospital stationed me in Hawaii right before Pearl Harbour was hit. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I came home and Cynthia looked after me. It wasn't long when they sent me the letter about you." I sniffled on the last part. I took a deep breath and continued.

"It was hard but Cynthia helped the best she could. One night, I was headed to get Lily-May from Cynthia's when Victoria stopped me."

"Victoria?" The small brunette gasped. I saw her husband wrap his arm around her and he whispered something in her ear. She calmed down and took his hand in hers.

"Carlisle told me about your past with her." I said to Bella.

She nodded. "She tried to kill me, after…Edward killed her mate, Laurent."

"Now I know the family she was after. She was planning on building up an army of vampires to destroy you. That night she turned me. When I refused to feed on any human or comply with her demands she threatened to kill Lily. I was so angry, I killed her myself."

"She's dead?" Bella asked. "We've been waiting 70 years for her to come back."

"You worried a long time then, she won't be coming back."

Bella sighed in relief and hugged Edward. "I told you, didn't I? Everything is going to be okay." Edward said to her.

"What happened to you and Lily-May?" Esme asked me kindly.

I sighed. "After I killed Victoria, I went to Cynthia's house. I'd been missing for about a week. There was no way I could have told Cynthia what I was but I couldn't leave without my baby. So I took Lily in the middle of the night and we fled to Alaska. I made it look like a murder in the woods. I used a dead man that Victoria had killed to set the blood for the scene. I felt bad for the man but there wasn't anything I could do."

"Well that explains a lot." Jasper muttered.

"Did you talk to Cynthia?"

He nodded his head. "I had been with the Cullen's for about a year and I could control my bloodlust. I came home to find our house empty and your missing poster on the living room floor. I couldn't believe it. When I showed up at Cynthia's, she looked like she'd seen a ghost. She told me that you were both kidnapped and murdered in the woods. She took me to our gravestones. That night I left and I never came home. At the time, I had lost you for good. I blamed myself for not being there to protect you when all along you've been alive. Lily-May hates me, doesn't she?"

Jasper's head hung lower and I curled up against his arm. I reached my hand up and touched his face so he would look at me. "She doesn't. Trust me. She just doesn't understand what happened. And when she does, she won't ever be out of your site again." I smiled and pressed my lips to his.

"I didn't get to see her grow up or look after her. Now she's an adult, she doesn't need me." Jasper said. I opened my mouth to say something but Rosalie beat me to the punch.

"How did your daughter become a vampire? Did you turn her?" The blonde bitch asked.

"Rose," Edward growled. "Control your thoughts."

I snapped my head at her and hissed. "What's it to you? Barely an hour ago you tried to kill my baby."

"I thought she was a threat, I didn't know she would be Jasper's offspring." She growled, folding her arms across her chest. Emmett grabbed her waist in an iron grip. I stood up to charge at her but Jasper pulled me back.

"Enough!" Carlisle said and took Rosalie by the arm. "They are apart of this family to now, Rose. You will respect them, for Jasper's sake at least."

"Fine," she whispered and sunk into Emmett's tight grip.

I looked down at a baby photo of Lily-May. I smiled. "She was 19 and she was dying. I never left her side the whole time she was in hospital. Since she was 16, she had been begging me to change her but I could never do that. I wanted her to live a good human life. Then she fell ill with pneumonia. The doctor told me she had only a few hours to live. I did the only thing any mother would do to save her daughter. I snuck her out of the hospital and turner her."

"We're finally together again. That's all that matters." Jasper said. I nodded and smiled folding myself into his arms. Then he tensed.

"What's wrong?"

"What did you mean when you told her not to go to him?" He asked. His brows were furrowed.

I chuckled. "Okay, well first let me tell you this. About 20 years later, Lily and I were hunting in the Amazon forest when we bumped into a few rogues. They were against us because we hunt animals and not humans. They chased us all the way to Peru where we met a vegetarian family of vampires. Hilda and her family saved us from them. Hilda's family are part of the Originals."

"As in the Volturi?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head and chuckled. "Lord no. The Originals date back to the time of Tutankhamen. They are more powerful than the Volturi combined. The Volturi act more like spokespeople for the Originals."

"Wow. So why is it they reside in Peru?" Carlisle appeared very curious about the De Luca family.

"They just prefer it there. Out of site, out of mind."

"Interesting." Carlisle muttered.

"The Originals are strong, dangerous and very powerful. They have a big coven, and not just them alone. There are more of them situated around the world with larger covens. You wouldn't have heard of them because they keep a very low profile."

"How do they manage that? What about feeding?" Edward asked me.

"They don't look like vampires. Their eyes are the same colour as when they were human but turn black when they are hungry. Their skin doesn't sparkle in the sun and they have fangs, not razor sharp teeth. They were all turned by the same sire, he still lives today."

All the Cullen's jaws dropped open in complete shock.

"Hilda's youngest son, Crispin is the boy who I was referring to. He and Lily have had an on/off relationship since the time they met. He's been asking her to marry her for decades but she never says yes. Only maybe."

"Are you serious?"

"Stronger than the Volturi?"

"I feel mind fucked."

"Watch your language, Emmett!"

"Originals!"

"He wants to marry Lily-May! No way in hell will he do that until I tear him limp from limp."

"He can't die, honey, he'll just regenerate. It's okay, he is a wonderful man and amazingly in love with Lily."

"Okay, I am so not going near any Originals if I can't kill them. They might rip my face off and wear it for Halloween."

"Really Emmett?"

"Well, you never know."

* * *

**Spanish Translation:**

**"That bastard! This whole time he was alive! Fucking hell, I hate this. Shit. Fuck. Where's my ballet shoes? Dead shit. That stupid blonde bitch was a total cow. Why on earth would he be with a coven like those assholes? If he has another mate, i'm going to castrate his balls off and make him eat them!"**

**"What?"**

"Honey, what's going on? Your father is alive, standing three feet from you. And why we are speaking in Spanish? "

"I am aware of the presence of my father. My question is where the hell was he for the last 67 years? Where was he? "

"I see you're angry and I'm sure he has an explanation for what happened. Come down stairs and we can talk about this, okay?"

"What sense does it make, Mom? Obviously, he has another family. I do not want to talk about this! "

"So you're going to make me play the mother card, right?"

"Out of my way, mother!"

"Tell me Lily. Why are not happy with this? "

"Why are not I happy? Maybe it's because the last sixty-seven years you have been a walking zombie. Did he not even look for us? Does it matter anymore? He's my father and I don't know what to do. After all we have lived through, he was not there when he could have been. Look around Mom, why do you think I'm mad? Why do you think I cannot accept this as quickly as possible? I do not know what to think about it, or how to even say anything to him? This is not a movie, there is no fucking fairytale ending shit! "

* * *

**Yes, I know. FINALLY! An update. I'm so very sorry its been so long but it's been one crazy year and as soon as noverember hits, i will have finished school and completed my HSC and more updates will flow daily if not weekly. Thankyou to all you have stuck with me since the beginning. **


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